One step forward two steps back

[wintersdreams]

I should start this by saying I’m aware I’m completely overthinking, but for the last 18 months I’ve hit rock bottom with what I can only describe as crippling anxiety and depression.

My GP tried to persuade me to try some sort of exercise along with medication and counselling as it would probably help my mental health. I finally plucked up the courage to do this in November after a solid 10 months of psyching myself up and I joined a weight loss programme which involves 3 boot camp kind of classes a week. I’ve actually really enjoyed it, I’ve lost 20lb in 5 weeks and I do feel better in myself after the classes. The problem is, I went to a class tonight and midway through I noticed a couple of ladies laughing in my direction. I tried to not panic about it and ignore it and tell myself they were just chatting about general stuff however when I’ve got home, the person running the class has posted a snippet of the session on social media and it’s quite clear that in the video they are pointing and laughing at me.

I know I’m overthinking it and that I shouldn’t feel this upset/humiliated but I feel like I’ve been chucked back to square one and I don’t think I can go back. I know it’s stupid and I shouldn’t care but the thought of going back to another class has given me a panic attack.

I’m so frustrated at how low I feel tonight because I was so proud of myself for sticking at it for a whole month and now it just feels ruined. Everything to do with my mental health just seems like it’s one step forward and two steps back and like things will never improve

This is so sad to read. I’m not surprised that you feel like that at all. Starting a new habit is hard work at the best of times and the last thing you need is some idiots making fun of you.

If you can’t face going back is there another class you can join? Or could you do exercise at home?

By the way, you should feel very proud of yourself for what you’ve achieved so far. 20lbs off in 5 weeks is amazing! Just imagine what you could achieve if you keep going .

Exactly what @Crazzzycat said, very well done for doing the exercise and getting the benefits. Those women were horrible, nasty bullies who would act out their nastiness on anyone, it is unfortunate that it was you they targeted this time.

Try a different class or go back to this one and ignore. Keep going with the exercise and the benefits from it.

I took up jogging for MH reasons, is this an option where you live?

What do you think they were laughing at? I'm sure the class leader wouldn't have released a clip if it looked like bullying to them. Sometimes it can be perfectly innocent but when you're already anxious, you can build things out of proportion.

However, in case I'm wrong, it's really unfortunate that that happened because in my (obese) experience, people in gyms snd classes pay absolutely no attention to other people at all. It's all about their own experience. So don't let these people deter you from doing something that us giving you pleasure and is making you healthier both physically and mentally. I suffer from depression and anxiety, and hate exercise but it definitely does lift my mood and makes me feel more positive. And 4lbs a week is an amazing loss.

The fact that you are doing and succeeding at something to tackle your a&d shows how strong you are. Use that strength to diminish the importance of these two people and recognise that, to you, the most important person in the class is you and everyone else takes second place.