How do I overcome my fear of pictures being taken of me?

[Norris63203]

I'm in my 20s. I have a fear of being in pictures. I have little social life because of it. Opportunities come up all the time to go out but I'm too scared because I know pictures will be taken. It's horrible because I'm still young and I'm wasting my life by staying at home.

It rules my life. Sometimes there is an event I want to go to but then I realize 'oh wait john smith is going and he takes loads of pictures, I therefore can't go' I wish that cameras did not exist so that I could do whatever the hell I want and not worry.

I don't have this fear for no reason, it's very justified because of my life experience. Other people don't understand because they have not walked in my shoes.

When I say to people that I don't want my photo taken, some people are jerks about it while some people don't mind but they quickly forget about my fear by the time the next event comes around. It's so scary and awkward when I'm at a meal with friends and somebody suddenly whips their camera out. I don't want to get up and walk off because I am so self conscious and don't want to look like a weirdo. But I don't want to to stay either.

I don't know what the answer is. I can't change the whole world - every moment of your life goes on Facebook. These days if somebody goes to the shop to buy a loaf of bread it goes on Facebook.

I've had therapy but they are completely clueless. No help at all.

Any advice?

Thank you.

No advice but I'm the same. Went to my aunt's birthday party a few months ago and you can see me in multiple photos running away from the camera whilst everyone's posing nicely😭

Are you on Facebook though or other social media? I think your thinking is a bit distorted on this one and ai think you should go back to therapy. My whole life isn't in Facebook through choice. My whole life is me living it. Maybe consider being more assertive in moments when photos are being taken and just move away or offer to take it yourself, a therapist can help you with this. You sound like you want other people to stop talking photos at your bequest but that is an unreasonable ask. At you sure you want to socialise and the anxiety of the photos isn't masking another reason why you don't want to be there also?

Can you just go with friends who all know you don’t want to be in a photo? Make everyone in the group aware beforehand and if they want to take a photo make sure you are not there or ask you to move whilst they take one?
The honest and brutal answer is yes, you are going to miss a lot of life if you are this scared / worried about it because photos are very much in our culture at the moment.
However you do have the right to ask for your photo not to be taken and for no photos of you to appear on fb or other SM
Can I ask what has made you so worried about this to this degree?

Would therapy help you?

Is your fear to do with safeguarding or something like that. It’s unsafe for you to be photographed? Is it related to trauma? Perhaps you could have some counselling on how you come to terms with being able to go out AND being able to say “no pics please”

If you have a nice group of mates can you disclose some (vague/not all) details to them about why you cannot have your pic taken? Friends would understand.

“Listen I can’t have my pic taken, it’s complicated and I’m sorry about it. But it’s really important s that I don’t get hassled about it. Can you support me on that? Let me be the designated photographer for the night!”’

You could joke- I’m a Russia princess and my identity cannot be disclosed. I’m an undercover spy you photograph me I’ll have to eliminate you!

You do have to meet them halfway and move out of the way or say-
“No pics of me, remember!”

Or just say, I’m off to the loo.

You don't have to. You're allowed to socialise without having photos taken. I have a friend who absolutely refuses to have her photo taken. The first few times we went out, some people were a bit that she made a fuss. Now people know not to take photos. I like it. It means we focus on each other's company, not endless posing for shots.

But if you want to overcome the fear, just talk yourself through it: what am I scared of? That people will laugh at me? That an ugly pic gets onto social media and people laugh at it? And what will happen if that happens? Will I still wake up next day? Will my life be notably different?

A woman I barely know posted a pic of me on FB several years ago which I hate. I was quite upset and commented and she was puzzled as she thought I looked happy (er I did - I was laughing so hard you could see all fillings and tonsils!) It's still up. I just decided not to care.

There are 2 things here.

1. seek some support for the anxiety. The fear is taking over

2. your boundaries around photos are absolutely ok. I don't like my picture being taken and I don't like the kids photos taken. If I notice someone doing it, I politely ask for them to not and if the kids are involved I'll usually ask for it to be deleted. I have asked people to remove photos of me / kids from social media. All my friends have respected this choice.

It's ok for you to ask people to not take photos of you. It's ok to ask people to not post your photo to social media

I agree, I've struggled with many different anxieties during my life and therapy has helped to an extent but I think one of the biggest issues is getting over the fear of what other people will think about it.

Your nervous system has settled on photos and social media as being dangerous and that's not your fault so own it. Thank your nervous system for trying to protect you and be clear with other people about what you are and aren't comfortable with. Some of your friends might be secretly relieved to not have photos of themselves plastered all over social media.

Also is it that you don't want to be in the photo or that you don't want it posted anywhere? You could just have a blanket statement like 'I don't do photos or I don't do social media' and practice smiling when you say it and then people will be more ok with it than you think!

I don't have this fear for no reason, it's very justified because of my life experience

I've had therapy but they are completely clueless

Did you tell the therapist of your life experience?

If not, you need specific therapy for the cause of your fear - not the fear itself.