PND and PNA anyone not have it second time?

[fifiKma]

Hi everyone, so I've been talking to my counsellor lately about another baby. I want another kid but I'm terrified of having PNA and PND again. For me it was just PNA at the start but it got me so down it led to PND. I took sertaline 6 months and have been feeling slowly better for a year. Has anyone had it with the first then fine for the next?
I know I'll be more prepared next time and no lockdown etc but it's a huge barrier for me. Also if anyone has any tips for being prepared. Really want another like my current wee daftie!

Yes me. Had terrible PNA and PND with first but was fine with number 2. I think the difference was due to having a less stressful job, and also taking an SSRI (citalopram) from around 9 weeks onwards. It was such a different experience. The lack of deep didn't bother me at all and was out having lunch on day 3 post section.

I know how scary it can be. If you don't want to go down the medication route, how about lining up decent support for the post natal period - a doula or mother's help for example.

I had a similar experience to you of PNA which sort of morphed into PND. I have a nearly four year age gap as a result, as it took me some time to feel ready again.

Second time round was so much better. I sometimes had bad days where I did feel anxious, but it never spiralled in the same way and despite being in the depths of the first lockdown I coped so much better.

I had some therapy between babies and found some techniques that worked for me. Primarily it was about accepting there were going to be some difficult days I wouldn't enjoy, but that those feelings were temporary and I didn't need to fight against them. But I'm sure everyone is different and it will depend what triggered your PNA originally. I feel like the therapy has also helped me to be less anxious in my day-to-day life which is a bonus.

I had PNA then PND with my first education then turned into ANA/AND with my second as I got PG again when LO was only 8 months old.

That then turned straight back into PND/A again but I only sought help finally 8 months after second one was born. I had CBT which was ok but really it was going back to work which helped.

With DC3 the other two were in nursery and I was working. Despite horrific hyperemesis I was fine all pg and then afterwards though I was v ill. Having the others in nursery part time made a massive difference.

I went out for lunch just me and the baby in a sling when he was 4 weeks old and breastfed him, had a lovely time.

With three others I was so terrified I couldn't even take them to baby group or library

You will be in a much better place this fine wine as you will be watched more closely and you will recognise the signs yourself, much easier to treat if you catch it early

Thanks for sharing. I'm hopeful and really want a slightly bigger family. Tiring as it is!

Same here. Horrible with baby one and had the happiest time of my life after baby 2. Baby 2 was a massively healing experience for me and I felt I got to experience a lot of what I missed with baby 1.

That is secretly what I'm hoping for. Do t get me wrong my wee boy is the light of my life. I just wish I'd enjoyed the first snuggly baby months.

Yes I did with 1 but. Was fine with 2 and 3. I think because I recovered better from the births.. Felt more organised

I think part of it. The thing I'm going over with my counsellor is there was a traumatic incident after the birth. He's fine now he just choked on mucous and went blue but I was really terrified. I'm not sure if not having that happen will mean I'm better off or if it will bring the trauma back. It's so hard to know. It feels so out of my control.

I'm also convinced that the hormones were a big part of it. I've always struggled with emotional issues around hormones. Doesn't seem like there is much treatment for that outside of SSRIs. I had nasty side effects from sertaline so I'm not too keen to take it again. A thousand times better than the anxiety so of course I would take it if I had to.