Can I do the work without a therapist?

[CallMeNutribullet]

Basically that. I'm not "ill" and in fact currently tapering down my antidepressants but not entitled to therapy on the NHS and can't afford private.
I've already had talking therapy and cbt with varying success. I have some attachment issues which, if I don't sort out I'll probably never have a relationship. I'm 41 and my relationship history is a mess. I'm also a chronic overspender and I'm in debt as a result.
Basically if I get the recommended books, workbooks, listen to mental health podcasts etc, can I enact meaningful change?

Hopeful bump? I think I might have a shopping addiction but it seems to be poorly catered to in the UK

Hi. It is very unlikely that you will be able to do the work yourself, someone needs to supervise it and know tethniques to use etc.

Yes, you can. Look at this course (you can ignore the 'practitioner' bit, most people do the course for self development) and you will learn exactly who you are and why you do what you do.

www.udemy.com/course/cognitive-behavioural-therapy-online-course-cbt-practitioner-course/

For a lot of things its possible to do the work alone. CBT is pretty straightforward to do yourself.

The problem with attachment issues though is that a good 80% of the therapy happens within the relationship with the therapist. Having that safe, secure attachment to them is essential so you would struggle to do this kind of work without a therapist.

I don;t know. I tried for years to help myself. But i noticed that loads of people have overtaken me, sorted out their problems and become successful at the things I perpetually fail at. In casual chat with them, they have all had therapy and it's made me realise constantly trying to help myself is holding me back. It is a classic thing to do if you have attachment issues. You assume no one will ever be there to help or support you or be reliable so you rely on yourself. It's a bit of a narrow road. If you can, get some help. Even the free self-referred sets of 6 NHS sessions are better than going it alone.

@CallMeNutribullet: it’s hard to find a good therapist (especially if you have attachment issues) but worth persevering

I think seeing someone is much more effective vs books etc (though those can also be helpful). The healing comes from having a healthier relationship

If you have attachment problems then you need to to work on that in a relationship where you become attached (or not!) to someone - a therapist.

Yes there is so much you can do by yourself! I most advanced in my own thinking when I was doing yoga every day too, it just stimulated and allowed my mind to delve deeper and clearer.

Highly recommend Yoga with Adriene's 30 day/January challenges

I also recommend the podcast 'This Jungian Life' as interesting thought provoking psychoanalysis.

Good luck

If you decide you can get a therapist i think core processing therapy is very good.

I have needed a relationship with a therapist. I couldn't have looked at my attachment stuff on my own. It has boiled down, over a long period of time, to how I relate to her. I appreciate that not everyone. needs therapy, but I have read so many books, watched videos, meditated, tried antidepressants, but nothing has come close to working through my attachment 'stuff' with someone committed to giving me space to do my own work. I wouldn't get too hung up on whether you can find a 'good' therapist, I'm not even sure what to suggest you look for, just someone who you instinctively feel will hold safe boundaries for themself and will honour yours was enough for me. I read a while ago that we are hurt in relationship (usually childhood) and we heal in relationship. We are wired for connection to each other and we frequently live in disconnected states, that's why I am slightly early of doing this work completely alone. Granted there is a lot we can do alone but there is something unique about the need for relationship.

*wary not early!

DBT might be a useful therapy route for you. Have you checked your local Mind website, some of them offer this or other talking support.

To an extent but it helps reinforce positive change and hold you accountable.

Op I overcame shopping addiction with a therapist. Its not different to any form of addiction really, except I suppose the ways and means are difficult to escape with bombardment of advertising.

My advice is pick one thing to change- the number one thing that will make a difference.

I agree with others, that a therapist is absolutely best.

But, if you do go towards self help, a patched together approach will not hold attachment based issues. Try either Reinventing Your Life by Jeffrey Young (Schema Therapy).

Or follow the Holistic Psychologist on Insta, Dr Nicole Le Pera. She has a whole community approach (including a book) but also does body based work which is increasingly recognised in trauma (including the attachment trauma which underpins attachment problems). The whole "package" is a more modern approach, and her whole strategy is to "self-heal".

Still best through a therapist though.

Thanks everyone apologies I didn't realise there were other responses to this. The issue is I can't afford therapy, I'm struggling financially right now. As far as the NHS are concerned I'm not unwell so I'm not entitled to more.
The only thing I can do is try to at least do some of the work myself and maybe accept that romantic relationships aren't for me. I worry so much I'm pushing my 8 year old away and the thought I could be causing her issues is devastating to me.

Do check Mind, it varies across the country but our local one is free for things like counselling and peer group support.

Writing a journal is a good way to get anxiety out of your system. The fact you are concerned about pushing your child away means you want to change this. Write it all out. What you think and feel, what you did. Talk to your child. It becomes more a discussion with parenting as they grow up. Explain in a child appropriate way how you may be struggling. Children are smarter than they look! They appreciate being included in discussions and asked their thoughts and feelings. So journal and dialogue, you can do this.

I absolutely agree that you need to work with a therapist. There are some charities that offer low cost counselling based on your income. Or check out good psychodynamic (I'm biased and think this is the best!) training places where they offer low cost counselling with students. Students are closely supervised to ensure good work. It's a difficult situation and I'm sorry you're not getting the support you need from the NHS.

I could have written your OP.

I found learning to control my breathing to be the one most massive thing that has helped me get over anxiety and depression. It's a huge topic in it's own right but for me it made me able to adjust my inner....I don't know? Switch? I believe it was the sole most important thing that has helped me towards getting well.