Recently I’ve just been feeling more and more depressed and like I’ve got nowhere to turn. I am so low on energy all the time and truly I can be bothered with anything, it means nothing to me, I just want to be in bed all the time. I’m hiding this from everyone I know and feel like I have to continue to be this upbeat person - plus I hate not being my best at work and housework. It makes me feel worthless.
I feel like I have no one in this world - my partner is busy and I feel like she never listens when I try to start conversations, plus I can’t be bothered to explain how I’m feeling so I plaster on a smile. My friends, and I have so few of them I can count them on one hand, have completely lost interest in me. They ignore my messages, ignore any requests to meet up. And I am the type of person who needs other people’s support. It’s not their fault but they just all have a hoard of other, better friends. My mum lives at the other end of the country and I wish I could just pack it all in and go and see her for a while but I’m not sure my partner, landlord and job would be keen on that.
I feel bad for posting in here but I honestly haven’t got a soul to turn to. I just wish I could feel happy.