i dont normally post here but feeling really low and lonley

[TinselTrace2]

i have a great family but i feel like am on my own ! my little girl is ill since born in june they dont know whats wrong with her and always going in hospital, dh not coping to well hes of sick from work now looks like long term also have a boy of five, ive took all on bored about we may loose my house with coping on my own as hes minds gone.

i just feel so alone and not looking forward to christam like this, hes always shouting at ds for nothing and sit holding dd.

to top it all of dd,ds and dh all got the v bug bet if i get it am still up and around.

sorry i just wanted to rant

So sorry to hear you are going through this sweetie . Is your DH receiving help? Are YOU?

Oh you poor thing, you sound like you're having a rough time. What's wrong with DP if you don't mind me asking? Physical or mental health problem? Is he getting help for either?
Do you have anyone who can help you out with the practicalities for a little bit - do some babysitting so you can get some sleep or go out on own?

hes got mental health problem and yes hes having abbs hes been on them now for two months dont really know if they working our gp says its all down to dd problems (but we know that) and no can net get out dd is on 24 hour watch been told by hospital dont let anyone whos not cpr confident have her.

i dont take any thing gp as offered but i need to be alert

its weired i look at all the lights people have got up and i feel sad not happy

What a lot you are having to deal with. Don't beat yourself up for not feeling able to cope with it all - there's only so much any one person can manage at any one time. I am sorry your DD is so poorly - what is happening to her?

if you mean whats happing with dd health they have no idea she as sexures goes unconcous, and postures for hours on end shes gone blue sevel times shes had loads of test have more in jan, always in and out of hospital

I really feel for you and it seems so much harder at Christmas when you are "supposed" to be happy. Perhaps you could consider what the GP has offered you in the short term? It sounds like your own needs are coming at the bottom of the list. Sending a supportive mum2mum e-hug. X

but if you see her shes a great little girl always smiling no problem at all( thats what keeps me going)

Trace you do have a lot to deal with. That sounds awful. Feel free to rant here - and there's people here to know all sorts if you've got a specific question. Problem with Christmas is that there's such a huge expectation that we'll all be happy and jolly, it just really emphasises it when we're not.

thank you but i feel like i should not complain theres worse of than us, with health and other things

That must be really frightening for you. She sounds like she has a lovely mum in you though to be always there for her. Who is there for you? I know you said you didn't feel that you could take anything, but medication isn't necessarily the answer - do you have friends or family who can come round and give you a shoulder to cry on? Or have you thought about asking for a referral for counselling services?

For what it's worth - we are always here for letting off steam at any time too x

And don't feel guilty about there being people 'worse off' than you - it doesn't mean you aren't allowed to feel sad sometimes too you know x

Pleaes don't try and compare yourself with others - when I was really down that was my downfall; in that I felt that what had happened to me was not as bad as what some people had to deal with. Point was, that it was an awful thing, and I was finding it difficult to cope, and it took counselling for me to accept that I had every right to feel harassed and pissed off and really miserable sometimes. For me, that was the bit about not being so hard on myself, and realising that sometimes I just wasn't going to cope with my particular situation.

i have a few friend but they have familys too, my family to be honest just use me for lifts to dads, hes old and needs to see them and if i dont take them hes alone too. so i do take tham then i dont feel guily if i dont get down to see him .lost my mum 4 years ago she was my best friend aswell and i miss her maybe thats why i feel worse cos writing this as made me cry

and for his mum, she lives 3 miles away and not sean them for 3 weeks cos we not been to there house, but yet they have two cars

You ok?

Look, I've got to go and start cooking, but do keep posting and get things off your chest. I'll be calling in later.

yes thanks dh here dont want him seeing this

OK. Hope you're feeling a bit better this evening. Wonder if the GP could arrange some counselling for you - certainly sounds like you could do with some support, you've got so much on your shoulders, and you really don't want your health to start suffering.

TheQueenSPeach thank you for thinking of me ! am ok i feel a little selfish now i should think more of others, but i needed to get it out of my system

Oh Trace just seen this. You know i'm on the end of the phone if you need to talk, if you've not much credit ring my phone and i'll ring you back. You can come here any morning you know (if u give me a few mins warning to tidy our shit tip house )

We can come to your house on Sunday or you all come here or if you want an hour or so break from dh you come, either on your own or with the kids. I've got cards and pressies to give you

I feel for you feeling like this.

Sending a big hug.xx

You have so much on your plate xx

There is an organisation called "homestart" that can offer practical help,and respite if you are in difficult circumstances,my HV has recently put me in touch with them as she felt they could be of help for our family.(My dp has been hospitalised for the last 4 months and my youngest is waiting for a diagnosis for her SN).

Re finances,it is worth contacting your mortgage company and explaining your circs.(Ours would have let us take a payment break had dp not had mortagage protection insurance).Your dh should get sick pay if he is with an employer,if not you can claim incapacity benefit.(we have as dp self employed.)Your dd may be entitled to DLA,it could be worth asking the hospital/your health visitor.If you receive tax credits you can also contact them due to a change in circumstances,and they may increase your payments.

Finally,keep posting on here for a rantIts a good place to let off steam and lord knows you've got enough to contend with.Don't be hard on yourself.You are certainly NOT being selfishxxxxx

trace, I've just seen this

sending you some virtual hugs lovely lady.

and don't ever think you are selfish; you are dealing with a hell of a lot, and bearing it really well.

DHs ADs will probably take a while to kick in, so hopefully he'll start feeling better soon. It is possible that whichever ones he's on aren't working for him, so he should speak to your GP about maybe switching. One of the symptoms of my depression is being on a really short fuse with those around me, and being very self absorbed (and absorbed in my DD to the exclusion of all else), so it could be that he needs some more help.

if there is anything I can do, you know where I am. {{{{hugs}}}}

daisy xx