I’m so pathetic, I can’t cope with life

[Hatemyselfsomuch78695]

Hi all,

I’ve posted here before and I’m at a low ebb.

I’ve started therapy and on medication, the bottom line is I’ve got huge self loathing around my face and body (something I have briefly touched on in therapy but not comfortable discussing to a larger extent) which is colouring every interaction I have.

Over the last few weeks I’ve isolated myself from the world a bit (apart from going to work) and stopped socialising with friends and the like. My social anxiety has really increased to the point where I feel like I have no personality! Little things really get me down and I just don’t have any zest for life at all, I firmly believe that it’s not for me and don’t want to “try” anymore if that makes sense...

Feel very disenfranchised from society etc (partly of my own doing ofc!) and felt quite wounded when my boss made fun of me for being “soft” and constantly trying to please everyone. I know it wasn’t meant badly but it just made me feel that that was my one redeeming feature, I have no personality or defining characteristics, I’m just a blob who says what people want to hear all the time.

I’m sorry for being so pathetic and self-pitying, sadly I’m not sure therapy or meds will help me with this one. I’m stuck in this stupid body for life now, I’m not comfortable dating looking like this, currently I barely want to leave the house. Just want to hide from society really. Plastic surgery won’t change how I look or indeed who I am, which is the real issue.

Has anyone ever felt like this? I hate myself for being so triggered by a meaningless comment but I’m just done!

You are not pathetic. Please don't think so.
Other people are dicks, it says more about their personality that they will be awful to you.

I’m sorry you’re feeling so rotten. My memory is pretty shot to shit, but I remember at various points feeling as you describe, but less so now because I’m on ads. Being a people pleaser is a bloody tough gig, it’s exhausting and draining and ultimately leaves me feeling crap because you literally can’t please everyone, and I felt like nobody really gives a shit about me.

What’s your favourite thing about you? Top 3 if you can, but at least one thing. Obviously you don’t have to post it here! But I always find it helps me to think of something/anything that I do that is good.

You are not pathetic, or self pitying. You’ve got guts posting on here, I’m much too much of a chicken to do so, so kudos to you!

I hope someone else comes along who is much more helpful than me, but I think you’re great for posting, and I hope things improve for you soon 🌺