Anxiety getting me down

[Amber921]

Hi everyone,

Just looking for some advice or experience from others who have been through similar.

Basically, I have always suffered from anxiety-particularly about new places, new people and going out anywhere on my own.

I have a 16 month old daughter and feel my anxiety has been a lot worse since she has been born-even more so since lockdown eased as I feel huge pressure to take her out and do things, I also want to for myself but I find it so hard. I currently don't live anywhere near my family or friends due to husbands work. Hoping this will change at some point but my situation at the moment means I don't know anyone and am mostly alone with my child.

I am not massively sociable but would love a few friends to meet up with-do things with the children. I feel so guilty that my daughter doesn't really see anyone else apart from when we visit family back home. I want us to have a social life! I geared myself up to go to toddler group this morning and yet again just completely chickened out and talked myself out of it. Ended up going to the park alone again and I am so disappointed and frustrated with myself.

I don't know many places here either and going anywhere new on my own absolutely terrifies me. I don't know why or what I'm scared of but I get so anxious and sometimes I can't do it. Sometimes I push myself to and am glad but I wish I could just do it without the stress. I want to fill mine and my daughters lives here but I don't know how. I get so anxious and overwhelmed everyday trying to fill our days and it's so hard.

I just want to get out and go without shaking and feeling so nervous.

I know therapy might be an answer but I have my daughter all the time and no one to watch her for me so that isn't really an option.

I just want to go home and feel safe with places and people I know. But I can't right now and need to make he most of this situation but I just don't want I feel anxious anymore.

Any advice would be much appreciated

I think you really need to chat to the GP and ask about options for anxiety or even consider moving home. Is there a befriending service available so that you could have someone to go to new places with? Sometimes the hardest thing is just going.

Your Anxiety could at some point start impacting your DD as anxiety can become a learned behaviour so it would be good to try to push yourself to do things. Easier said than done I know!

Is there something like this in your area for all mums rather than vulnerable? Have you spoken to the Health visitor to see what’s available?
www.essex.parents1st.org.uk/parents-1st-community-parent-model

A local library with story time for little ones?
I know how hard it is

It seem to me that you have two separate issues.
1.Long-time anxiety
2.Current anxiety

The long-time anxiety you should have tackled long ago, maybe through therapy ... but likely you could have just tackled it on your own by forcing yourself to go out, and finding it's not so scary after all. That's something you should work on.

The immediate anxiety, however, makes perfect sense. It's worrisome with a toddler, because they can't understand all the pandemic precautions. So don't push that. Wait a little longer until you feel better about it.

But, eventually, the best way is just to face the stress, put on a good face, and forge ahead. Nothing wrong with going to the park alone. Just be willing to start up a conversation.

Good luck.