Would it be too weird to ask therapist for a photo?

[PhoebeFriends]

I know it would be creepy to ask and it makes me cringe thinking about it - but I have such a feeling of stillness when I talk with him and I am panicking how I will cope when therapy ends. (NHS so can’t extend).

I’ve talked about my fears, we’ve talked through transference and discussed transitional objects - I will forever keep the idea of him present with me but a photo would/could help…

Therapy is online which makes it even stranger to think about me talking a photo- I keep thinking I can only ask and if he says no well that’s ok - but it is odd isn’t it?

I think I want to be told not to ask because it would be too creepy but I don’t want to not ask and then regret it…

Truthfully I would expect him to say no. Another transitional object is fine but a photo is quite personal in some way (really who do we give photos to now a days - family or lovers?)

You can ask but I think he will say no.

Thank you for replying @talkalarm - if someone asked me for a photo I would say no … if he had an online profile (many private therapists have a “page” advertising their service) I would use the photo from there but I know asking is just too strange and would also make him uncomfortable (as well as me).
I will refrain - definitely helps to have another opinion so thanks again.

I agree, refrain.

He will say no. It wouldn't be healthy, as you need to take what you've got out of the therapy without attaching it to him as a person.

It's great he's been helpful. Can you talk to him about that feeling of stillness and what you could do to maintain it eg are there yoga or meditation classes near you you could go to?

He should say no and you shouldn't ask.

What else can you use as a talisman? Can you draw something for yourself that will represent the stillness you want to be reminded of? Or find another image - a beach or lake or mountain scene that you build an association with?

That is so true @Luredbyapomegranate thank you for pointing that out - he keeps telling me that too and that is what I need to remember going forward - great advice makes me love mumsnet.

I would hope that you could talk to your therapist about the urge to ask for a photo and the feelings around it. It is part and parcel of ending for you...

I’m not sure @pollywollydoodler - I think I’ve worked it through- I want a photo because of the feeling of calm I get when I’m in therapy but as @Luredbyapomegranate it’s the therapy that’s done that - and him as a therapist but not an individual I need to hang on too. He will always be with my in my thoughts and we have talked about that. I am prone to extremes but can work through them relatively quickly with advice.
Although - if someone had posted - yes, ask him it will be fine - then maybe I would have gone in that direction…

Possibly not the most ethical solution but could you take a screen shot?

I did think about that really early on in our sessions @Potatolatkes but the ethics really bother me - more so than the need for a picture.

Could you start holding a specific object during sessions instead?

I really don’t think a photo would he an appropriate request, sorry.

I definitely don’t think a screenshot is a great idea either

Take the screenshot. File it away somewhere secure and private. Try to move on without looking at it. Delete at a later date when you have made your peace. But only if you are comfortable with the ethics of doing this.

Do you think there's a chance you have feelings for him?

Don't take a screenshot. It’s disrespectful of him and you are defeating the purpose for yourself, which is to detach in a healthy manner.

You are the one who has done all of the hard, hard work to find the ability to achieve stillness and calmness inside your body.

This is a skill set that you now have - like riding a bike. You are the one who resets your internal anxiety or depression. It’s a very physiological process. Notice where you feel it in in your body - pay attention to that sensation and keep practicing. More importantly notice when your mood is plummeting or escalating and actively intercept to dial you back to calm.

Well done to you - emotional regulation is like a muscle - keep it maintained and strong.