I can't do this anymore

[Lynne81]

I don't even know where to start this is pretty much a last ditch attempt at asking for help. My GP referred me to the CMHT for the second time first time I was told by the CPN that I'm not a risk and to go home and sort myself out, (I was having thoughts of suicide but I guess not actively planning) this time I had an assessment with them today (via phone as I can't leave home due to anxiety) I told them everything again - I'm slipping again I can't cope I don't want to be here anymore I told them I have a plan- I made it clear I need help as I can't do this alone but the response was the same - get motivated and help yourself. Trouble is I've reached the end and if that's the only service to help then I'm screwed. I know I'm not well I know I need help I've asked and been told to pull myself together so what's the point even the health service don't care if I live or die, where's the help that everyone talks about I just can't do this much longer

That is so beyond awful :( I am so sorry you are going through this alone.

I have no experience, knowledge, or prior useful advice in this area. The advice I'm about to give you comes from my head, with no training whatsoever.

In your post above you write about how your CMHT are useless, so what would happen if you drove yourself to a hospital outside of the usual CMHT and said you needed mental health?

It’s appalling, @Lynne81. That it not care but abuse imo. It might be helpful to know it has happened to so many people, and is not about you but about the inadequate staff and system.

Keep talking here
Do you have a local Mind group? They often offer counselling (waiting list obviously) and ‘befriending’ phone calls. My GP told me they are picking up a lot of patients failed by the NHS.

It’s also worth getting another GP appointment. I know they are super busy right now, but I’ve found a good GP can be more supportive than the so called MH services.

@toolazytothinkofausername

That is so beyond awful :( I am so sorry you are going through this alone.

I have no experience, knowledge, or prior useful advice in this area. The advice I'm about to give you comes from my head, with no training whatsoever.

In your post above you write about how your CMHT are useless, so what would happen if you drove yourself to a hospital outside of the usual CMHT and said you needed mental health?

I'm not sure would the hospital not just call the CMHT? Plus I really don't want to take up precious resources

@SparklingLime

It’s appalling, *@Lynne81*. That it not care but abuse imo. It might be helpful to know it has happened to so many people, and is not about you but about the inadequate staff and system.

Keep talking here
Do you have a local Mind group? They often offer counselling (waiting list obviously) and ‘befriending’ phone calls. My GP told me they are picking up a lot of patients failed by the NHS.

I ve spoken to Samaritans but not mind but they kind of point you in the medical direction

Perhaps just Google Mind in your area and see what they offer? Is paying for private an option at all? (it shouldn’t have to be of course).

This is also worth looking at: www.maytree.org.uk/

[quote SparklingLime]Perhaps just Google Mind in your area and see what they offer? Is paying for private an option at all? (it shouldn’t have to be of course).

This is also worth looking at: www.maytree.org.uk/[/quote]
I will try googling mind see what's available, unfortunately private isn't an option Ive just left an abusive relationship and been re housed by the council so I don't have anything what I do have needs to go on my kids

The fact that you have got yourself and your kids to safety is huge and positive. Can you begin to hope that things will change for you now?

I also like the Blurt website for resources: www.blurtitout.org/2017/08/24/depression-ending-it-all/

There may be another organisation you can approach for counselling due to the abuse you have been through: www.blurtitout.org/get-support/

[quote SparklingLime]The fact that you have got yourself and your kids to safety is huge and positive. Can you begin to hope that things will change for you now?

I also like the Blurt website for resources: www.blurtitout.org/2017/08/24/depression-ending-it-all/

There may be another organisation you can approach for counselling due to the abuse you have been through: www.blurtitout.org/get-support/[/quote]
Thank you I will take a look. I thought I would but I just feel so hopeless

I’m so sorry this is happening to you, it not right and it’s not fair. You deserve the help you need.

The only thought I had that might help other than what has been suggested by others is that if you have a health visitor because of your children, maybe that could be a route to try.

It sounds like you have been very brave to leave an abusive relationship with your children and to keep fighting the way you have been.

@LethargicActress

I’m so sorry this is happening to you, it not right and it’s not fair. You deserve the help you need.

The only thought I had that might help other than what has been suggested by others is that if you have a health visitor because of your children, maybe that could be a route to try.

It sounds like you have been very brave to leave an abusive relationship with your children and to keep fighting the way you have been.

My kids are all over 5 so we don't have a health visitor but my 9 year old is autistic and has a social worker not sure if they would help

You can find local services such as support group and counselling here for survivors of abusive relationships:

www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-abuse-directory/

You should be able to get help from your CMHT, but if they are not helping then it might take asking these other groups, until you find one who can help.

Also do consider going back to your GP and telling them how things are now.

If you presented at a hospital with suicidal ideation they should ask for you to be assessed by psychiatric liaison. It doesn’t always happen but should.

Do you have friends/family that you can call to be with you?

I’m sorry that you are struggling op.

My kids are all over 5 so we don't have a health visitor but my 9 year old is autistic and has a social worker not sure if they would help

It’s got to be worth a try, they are supposed to be there to support you after all. And it’s worth going back to your GP.

Sorry you're having such a tough time. Picking up on “sorting yourself out”; has the GP or CMHT given you any ideas of how you are meant to do that?
Medication?
Have they signposted you to another service?
Other suggestions?
Or have they told you go and have a cup of tea and take a bath (stock suggestion)?

@dangermouseisace

Sorry you're having such a tough time. Picking up on “sorting yourself out”; has the GP or CMHT given you any ideas of how you are meant to do that? Medication? Have they signposted you to another service? Other suggestions? Or have they told you go and have a cup of tea and take a bath (stock suggestion)?

I'm already on max dose citalopram, propranolol and diazepam and I still want to end it so I'm not sure what they want me to do they suggested self help online but how do I do that when I'm so broken

Well for this evening we are here on this thread to help you get through.
Do you feel that just for tonight you can keep you and the kids safe?

There is no shame in “taking precious resources”, you are precious and worthy of help.

Off the top of my head - do you have a women’s centre near you? At ours you can access free therapy and support specifically for women who have experienced abuse.

I’ve been right where you are, feeling I couldn’t go on. You can do this.

I'm already on max dose citalopram, propranolol and diazepam

You need an urgent meds review OP. Your taking two types of tranquilliser and an antidepressant...its quite possible your meds are battling against each other here and making you feel this way.

Do you know if you have a clinical pharmacist at your surgery? You can arrange an appointment?

Agree meds review sounds like a good idea, preferably with a psychiatrist as GPs are not experts in psych meds. SSRI’s aren’t great for everyone, and sometimes things need changed around.

Online self help sounds a bit…shit…
It sounds like your GP is trying to do the right thing. It’s hard when you feel crap but do you think you could contact them and say what happened with CMHT? As GP could possibly have a word with them?

How are you doing, @Lynne81?

I’m thinking of you and wondering how you’re doing too.

Thank you for all your kind words it's nice to know there are still people out there that care. I'm still struggling and getting hold of my my GP is like trying to get through to royalty

If you ever get to the point where you feel like your close to putting your plan into action.. please, walk into an A&E department, they'll have to see you and you'll be seen by the mental health team. I'm sorry you having such a rubbish experience with your GP, I had the same experience. Thankfully, my mum rang my GP once when I had a really bad episode and was contemplating suicide frequently, and I've been assigned a GP who genuinely gives a s••t. She rings me every fortnight to check in, changed my meds, which has made a big difference, and I feel genuinely listened to every time. It's sad, but sometimes you have to be kicking and screaming to get the recognition you truly deserve. But please know there is help out there.. it can take abit of navigation and persistence but the fact your here, writing this shows your determination to overcome it. Keep pushing through, don't stand for being ignored, YOU matter. Remember that.

@harrow92

If you ever get to the point where you feel like your close to putting your plan into action.. please, walk into an A&E department, they'll have to see you and you'll be seen by the mental health team. I'm sorry you having such a rubbish experience with your GP, I had the same experience. Thankfully, my mum rang my GP once when I had a really bad episode and was contemplating suicide frequently, and I've been assigned a GP who genuinely gives a s••t. She rings me every fortnight to check in, changed my meds, which has made a big difference, and I feel genuinely listened to every time. It's sad, but sometimes you have to be kicking and screaming to get the recognition you truly deserve. But please know there is help out there.. it can take abit of navigation and persistence but the fact your here, writing this shows your determination to overcome it. Keep pushing through, don't stand for being ignored, YOU matter. Remember that.

Thank you hopefully I can get some help x

@Lynne81

Thank you for all your kind words it's nice to know there are still people out there that care. I'm still struggling and getting hold of my my GP is like trying to get through to royalty

There will always be people that care OP. More importantly people who understand and can empathise with what your going through right now- it's unfortunately a struggle to find those people who finally help (sadly common), but they are there.

I think @harrow92 speaks for what the majority have to go through (so pleased your doing well now) - there's a lot of hope in that post.

Keep tapping away on here OP