Waiting for a call from GP

[LifeOfAnxiety]

I’m on the triage list and waiting for their call and it’s causing more anxiety!
When will they phone? What if it’s when I’m on the loo? What if I’ve knocked the ringer off?- I haven’t, I’ve checked it 15 x an hour since I called 3 hours ago!

I’m on the highest dose of AD
I take propranolol

It’s taken me nearly 6 weeks to phone the GP precisely because waiting for a call and discussing it is anxiety inducing.

I just don’t know what more they can do/give me. I’ve done CBT in the past and was sort of okay-ish for a couple of years but the pandemic has sent me over the edge. My OCD is exhausting as it’s no longer under control, I only leave the house for my part time work but that is getting harder and harder. If the dr actually signs me off I don’t think I will ever leave the house again.

I just want to be normal, carefree and happy.

I wish there were helpful words that would make a genuine difference OP.
The good thing is you have phoned the GP at last. If they are anything like mine it could be a while until they call back.
I had "strange" depression that did not react well to normal ADs and asked to see a psychiatrist, which I did privately as I could afford to do so in those days.
I was started on a medication that is not traditionally used for depression - but a very low dose. It worked well for a number of years for me. However covid has destabilised me completely and I am not coping again. Your post has reminded me that perhaps I need to make another appointment.
Other things that helped me were all about making small manageable changes in my life - looking after my health better, allowing myself to read crappy novels to lose myself in, finding a home based hobby to try and direct my mind even if for a few minutes.
Good luck

Thank you.
Dr was lovely and has referred me to the MH team and is calling me again in a couple of weeks to see how I’m doing while I’m waiting- so now I will be anxious about her calling and me blubbering down the phone like a mess again it feels a relief to get the ball rolling which is the main thing.

Sorry you are also finding it all difficult to cope with too. Do phone.

I’ve been for a walk today (day off) and did yoga this morning. Funnily enough I’ve had 3 books here that I just haven’t bothered picking up yet, I will give one a try and see if I can lose myself for a bit.

Thank you for your reply. I do hope things improve for you soon