so upset about my childhood home being sold

[GeekgirlRoastingOnAnOpenFire]

Is this really silly? And how do I cope with it?
My mum died 2 weeks ago and my dad is now very anxious to sell their house - for very sensible reasons, I should add - it's far too big for one person, he wants to move 400 miles away back to the area he is originally from to be closer to his sister for support/company, the place he wants to move to is in a much better location for travelling etc., etc. He is due to retire at the end of April and wants to have sold it by then. He has already arranged for my mother's ashes to be interred near his new home town.

I do completely agree that he should sell and move away.

But... we moved to that house when I was 3, I still remember moving day. I loved the huge garden as a child and have so many memories. I know what every nook and cranny looks like. What the view from each window is.
I know the local area - hidden passageways that I have been able to show my children, that kind of thing. This year I took dd1 to the lido I always used to spend my summers at for the first time. It is big enough for me, dh and the 3 children to come and visit. They have toys there, beds and a big climbing frame in the garden.

I am so upset at the thought of losing the house. The thought of only going there a few more times if that.

I just feel like am losing so much at the moment.

oh you poor thing! I completely understand about the losing the childhood home bit, it's home and when it's gone you feel kind of set adrift. But I felt all this when my parents sold the house to move on. Nobody died.

Tis a fortnight since you lost your dear mum and whilst I completely understand your dad wanting to get everything sorted as quickly as possible, it is a hell of a lot for you to deal with.
You need time to grieve for your mum before you lose anything else.

Take photographs of every room of the house and write on the back of them one thing that you remember about the room.

Say goodbye to each room and tell it how you feel (probably better if you do this on your own) Tell your children what a fab childhood you had there, and don't be frightened to cry about everything that has happened.

Sorry I can't be more help

Would moving there yourself be an option for you?

I understand how you feel.

And I also think your father ought to slow down a little. It is not a good idea to take such momentous decisions, such as selling the house he has lived in for decades and choosing a new one, so shortly after his wife's death.

Can you get him to give it six months?

Geekgirl this happened to me after my Dad died.

Whilst I fully understood and agreed with Mum selling the house, when the day actually came, I had to go to teh house to deliver something to the new purchaser - Mum was too upset so I offered.

I absolutely sobbed my heart out as I drove away, it was so difficult. I really wish I'd done what Squonk suggested, I firmly believe it would have helped. However, not visitng the house any more has not diminished any of my memories of my childhood/my Dad, nobody can take those away from you.

Don't be afraid to get upset, I will be thinking of you

Anna I suspect her Dad is focusing on practical things, to get him through this dreadful time. Thats what i did.

The sale of your family home is so and it is coming after the loss of your mum which will have also been a huge loss.

But I understand why your Dad wants to do it. The house will be full of so many memories and those are memories that you can hold on to - they don't go when the house is sold.

Everytime I have moved I have cried. I even remember balling my eyes out when I was about 6 because we were having a new bath...I loved the old bath but I was justified to cry - it was a lovely white enamel monster and got changed for a plastic avacado number (but it was the 70's!).

My aunt still can't bear to drive past my grandmother's old home,seven years after she died.

Geekgirl
So sorry for the loss of your mum .

My Dad died in 2003 and we had always known that Mum would never live in their house on her own. It was 'home' to me too since I was 7, and represented so much stability. The house was put on the market five weeks after Dad died.

It sold fairly quickly, but the 'process' was fairly long, which was probably a good thing.

The day Mum moved out and the new people moved in I sobbed uncontrollably - it was like losing Dad again.

The next Christmas some cards were delivered there by mistake, and I (bravely!) agreed to go and get them. And funnily enough it was not as bad as I had thought. The people I love weren't there, and although that house will always hold so many memories for me, it made me realise that it's actually the people in the house that make it 'home' - and fortunately most of them are still with me.

I would love to go and have a look around from time to time though, and so often find my mind wandering around the garden etc.

I do feel so much for you.

thank you all for being so understanding

unfortunately we can't move there (although I have considered it!) - it's in Germany and with dh's work and the children's schooling there's no way.
Next time I go (which will probably be to help my dad pack up ) I'll take pictures of everything.

claricebeansmum, had to LOL at the bath incident - that's the kind of thing I used to do too. Every time a tree was cut down in the garden I'd be bereft.