I've had a bit of anxiety and the odd panic attack for years now. It used to be quite bad a few years ago, but it's not too bad now, it tends to only manifest itself at work and I usually know when it will happen. Mostly when I do presentations but my gp has prescribed me propranolol which I use on the days I know I'm going to be doing a presentation or have a high stress meeting/situation.
Occasionally it catches me off guard, like today, we had a team 'teams meeting' we do it every week and I quite enjoy them, my manager asked me a question (not unusual) next thing I know I'm hyperventilating and my heart is racing. I just wish they would fucking stop it! I'm not nervous, I need and want to talk about this subject, my boss is lovely but I end up trying to stall the conversation so I can catch my breath, it's like I've just run around the block and can't breath. Jesus I must have looked a right idiot! After a minute or two I managed to get it under control and talk about the subject and all is good. But I'm just so fucked off. I'm worried I embarrassed myself in front of my manager and my peers. It also upsets me as I love and enjoy my job but it really puts me on edge.
This will put me back a while and I'll now end up taking a tablet on a Monday before my meeting 'just in case' for a while and I'll be in the vicious circle of 'I had an attack, therefore I'm anxious, which means im more likely to have one, so im more anxious' and it goes on and on... the human brain is a sodding weird thing sometimes
I don't really know why I'm posting, just to vent really