Im feeling a little depressed...

[mum2oliver]

Im a childminder.I care for my 9month old and my best mates 7month old.I also look after my own ds of 3and a half.
Ds goes to playschool for 9am til 11.30.I have to be very organised all of my time.
"The babies" sleep at 9.15/20 ish to 10ish.They have their lunch at 12ish and then both go down at half12ish for a few hours+.I really like this time as I can get to spend it with my ds.
The babies wake up around 2.30/2.45 and have a bottle.By the time I have finished feeding bottles its almost time for my mindy to leave for the day.
My ds is bored as I stay in most days due to the babies sleeping.Its just such a big deal to go out as my mindy doesnt sleep well in the pram or car seat so there is too much temptation to stay in.
I feel mean to my ds as its clear he craves more activity.I can only do so many puzzles,drawing,panting etc with him.
Iv selfishly got myself into a major rut.I feel tired and my dh doesnt understand and doesnt sympathise because the answer is so clear.I need to get off my back side and get out there and take my ds out.
How do I get myself out of this rut and stop making excuses.Does it really matter if the babies cry??

Hi , I think you are trying to do too much. I am sure your ds is happy to be with you at home in the afternoons.
I am not a childminder,I have a 3 yr old son who starts nursery (2.5 h/day like yours) in Jan and I don't take him out in the afternoons.
I too feel of guilty because I think I am not doing enough with him, but that is not true. We are wonderful mothers and they need mother who are relaxed not running around them all day. I used to keep busy all the time and still feel I wasn't doing enough, and I realised that what he realy likes is being in the same room as me while he is playing, listening to music, watching videos etc..
I am trying my best to do that and we feel much better.

I agree 100% with potxola. I over-stimulated my DD1 by talking to her ALL the time and playing with her. Now at age 5, she simply cannot entertain herself, she literally won't leave me alone for 2 mins. Now DD2 has come along, I leave DD2 if she is happy, if she is just sitting on the couch sucking her hand whilst I tidy round, then I leave her be. I play with her as much as I can but no ALL the time like I did with DD1. It was as if I felt guilty that I weren't doing enough.

Are you sure your not regretting offering to look after your friend's baby?

Im not regretting it as she is my best friend and wouldnt want to do it for anyone else and I need a wage.I still feel bad though no matter what you are saying.Thank you though.Appreciate it.Need some me time.Bloody pissed off with everyone.