Being offered help but I don’t think I want it anymore

[Kaz7009]

My depression and suicidal thoughts have really increased lately and I have spoken to the doctors about it. And my therapist who then spoke to my doctor. And now they are all very concerned and I am being referred to community mental health team and they are constantly trying to contact me. The problem is I don’t think I want the help. Firstly because I don’t know how much they can do.. I have had therapy and I have a great therapist who has helped a lot and I can be open with and I don’t want to go to a different one. Medication is being sorted. But I’m not sure I want to take it anymore. Been off it for a few days now and feel no worse or better

I’m also worried engaging with CMHT will impact my job and future career. Obviously I don’t have to tell them but my job involves me referring to mental health support for my clients and I just don’t want to come across someone I have worked with or something. And it may mean having time off for appointments which I am already struggling eith.. saying it’s the dentist etc I don’t want my job to know. I don’t want anyone to know. I haven’t told my friends how bad it’s got again, they think everything is fine. My parents know I’ve been struggling but maybe not the extent and now I’m telling them everything is ok. I just hate people worryjng. I would rather just get on with it pretend I’m ok and either get better or not. If I tell the doctor I am ok and don’t need further support will they take me seriously?

I’m also worried my therapist who as I said I trust and feel comfortable with will bin me off because she thinks she can’t help me anymore. I truly cannot sit and tell another stranger all my thoughts and feelings. Any advice please.. feel like I’m on the edge and I don’t know how to go forward without coming off that edge completely.

Answer the phone and say no thanks.

But consider it. You dont have to tell your work.

You are over worrying about this - you are being irrational. (I say this kindly).

I’m not sure you’ll need to go into a lot of detail with the CMHT. It’s often just monitoring, medication is reviews etc. Cooperating with them may well make it easier for your therapist to keep working with you as the responsibility is not hers alone. Have you discussed how you feel with her?

People can worry less if you have as much support as possible in place.

Sorry, they will probably do a full assessment and then time/contact with them may well be much more limited than you are imagining.

You might get given a social worker who can help you with practical stuff or give you information or referral to other places that can help you. If you have DC this SW is nothing to do with them or your parenting, it's just for you to help change your life. I'd go for the appointment and see what happens. I'd take what help they offer and try it, see how it goes. They can speak to your current therapist if you give both permission or your current one can write a letter giving an overview of you, or you could write something yourself, if you don't feel upto to talking about it all. They might give you a psychiatrist which could lead to a change of meds to something that a GP can't prescribe but which ends up being more effective for you. It could lead to you having someone to contact "in the moment" instead of needing to book a GP appointment after the event. You might get give a psychiatric nurse. The CMHT can provide more emotional support than a GP because they're more available. Don't turn it down before you've tried it. You've tried coping on your own and that isn't working, so try this instead.