Is medication the right answer?

[Chl9871]

I don’t really know how to write this. I’m 23,married,mum of 2 young children. I’ve been suffering in silence with my mental health for years, depression,aniexty along with an eating disorder. For years I pushed all these issues aside, I think becoming a young mum to 2 kids by the age of 19 really took its toll on me mentally, they are the best thing that has ever happened to me but with no family close and a husband who is always at work I did everything alone whilst never caring about myself. I’ve been to the doctors twice about my issues, the first time I accepted counselling which I did but I felt it didn’t help at all, the second time I accepted medication but I didn’t take it out of fear. I’ve got to the point now both my kids have started full time school that I’m just sat at home all day crying, in bed with no energy, not wanting to do absolutely anything. I can’t sleep, I can’t focus. I don’t eat properly, I workout excessively because of my eating disorder and mental health, I’ve lost 9kg within just a few months. I do eat but I know it’s not enough. For the past week I’ve been feeling extremely dizzy,I started having chest pain yesterday so I went to hospital because I felt so ill and weak and couldn’t get hold of 111 or my go. I’m not under weight however I’ve lost a lot of weight in the past few months and I know my habits aren’t healthy weighing myself every day,I’m a pear shaped so I carry most of my weight on my legs but from the hips up and even in my face I look to thin and weak. I feel so cold all the time,shaky. When I went to the hospital last night the doctor asked me if I was eating properly,I said yes and he said “really,I don’t think so” I asked what he meant by that but he didn’t answer me and it upset me. I came home and burst into tears because I’m scared maybe my body is shutting down or something that’s why I’m dizzy all the time and have chest pain.I have been crying all day today I just don’t feel any happiness anymore even looking at my beautiful children. I have contacted my gp today regarding my mental health and they said a doctor will call me back Wednesday morning. At this point I feel that it is the responsible thing for me to talk to them and finally take medication before things get even worse, I know I’m only 23 and I don’t want to kill myself because of stress, or because of being depressed or because of my eating disorder. Can anyone give me any hope of if they have taken medication ? I just don’t want to be on it for the rest of my life I have tried so hard to make things better myself and without medication but I just can’t do it

Hi @Chl9871, what medication have you been prescribed? There is no right or wrong answer but I can understand your reluctance. Personally I have found that medication has helped me in the past to feel a bit calmer and to lift my mood but it's definitely worth looking at the underlying causes of why you feel the way you do.

You sound exhausted mentally and physically, can your husband give you a break this weekend? What's your appetite like? I know you mentioned eating disorder, how does it affect you?

And sorry you're feeling so rubbish ❤️

@rainbowninja

Hi *@Chl9871*, what medication have you been prescribed? There is no right or wrong answer but I can understand your reluctance. Personally I have found that medication has helped me in the past to feel a bit calmer and to lift my mood but it's definitely worth looking at the underlying causes of why you feel the way you do.

You sound exhausted mentally and physically, can your husband give you a break this weekend? What's your appetite like? I know you mentioned eating disorder, how does it affect you?

And sorry you're feeling so rubbish ❤️

@rainbowninja Thank you for replying! The last 2 times I’ve been to the doctors they have prescribed sertraline, but I’ve never ended up taking it out of the fear of the side effects I’ve seen people talk about when reading reviews, and just thinking as well that I can sort myself out without needing medication.

I think these problems have been going on for years,expecially the eating disorder all just building up. I was over weight for most of my life but after I met my now husband and pregnant with my first baby, I was loosing weight all throughout my pregnancy and from their I just developed unhealthy eating habits and lost to much weight. I feel scared of eating etc,weigh my self constantly, I know I am not big and that I need to eat more but it’s just fear of eating, I used to be hungry but just not eat but this past week it’s got to the point where I have absolutely no appetite at all now, I’m not hungry and I just feel so sick to my stomach.I’m having to force food down. My husband isn’t very supportive, he is Asian and has never really been taught about mental health, he just tells me to eat properly and sort my self out and stop thinking negatively but I’ve tried so much to tell him it’s just not that easy. X

I was like this (depression, panic attacks, GAD and OCD in my case). I resisted medication for so long, tried to find the root cause, did the CBT, had the counselling etc. Medication was the only thing that ever helped me and I don’t intend to stop taking it either.
That’s only my experience, but the difference was night and day. I’m sorry for everything you are going through. It’s very hard to live like that. Believe me, I know

@Chl9871 I know what you mean, I take Sertraline and remember being anxious about taking it to start with and not wanting to read about the side effects 😩

You mentioned having counselling before, was that for the eating disorder and did it help? My eating had got really hit and miss when I was feeling bad and it was only when I found out that I was deficient in certain vitamins that I felt compelled to do something about it.