How do you learn to love yourself?

[GizmoIsSoFluffy]

Just that. I've never liked being me, but can't change who I am. Diagnosed anxiety, previous episodes of depression.

How can I just accept that I will always be quiet/unsociable and make peace with that?

I'm quiet and unsociable but I do like myself. I think our childhood experiences matter hugely. Were you loved as a child?

Superficially yes, but I don't have the most maternal of mums

This book may be worth looking at. It’s about all the positive things introverts have to contribute to the world and there’s lots of reviews from people who say it’s changed the way they think about themselves.

www.amazon.co.uk/Quiet-Power-Introverts-World-Talking/dp/0141029196?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

To love yourself, start with acceptance. Say, I love and accept who I am and what I like.

There are MILLIONS who stay inside, like their own company, do things solo. It really is ok.

Catch yourself criticising yourself and consciously stop, and then make it up to yourself by saying 'I'm ok, I'm a good person' ten times in your head.

Forget criticising what you like and DO it instead. It's ok to be happy, to be you.

For me, it was about finding work, hobbies etc where I felt I could be authentic. It’s hard having to be switched on to be someone else all the time. I’ve stopped apologising now for being a bit gobby / not as fit and healthy as others / needing more rest. I’ve also recently written a list of things that make me happy and try and do them more. For me that’s gardening, reading, walking etc. And that’s ok - I don’t need exciting hobbies or lots of people. I think a lot of it came as I got older. Good luck OP - finding peace is a big challenge.

Something that helped me was listing all the things I hate about myself

Bossy
Aggressive
Overexcitable

And then looking for a more positive way of regarding those traits

Leadership qualities
Passionate
Enthusiastic

Treat yourself as you would someone you really love and care about. Quiet and unsociable could read as 'thoughtful, peaceful and careful about who they open up to.'

@GizmoIsSoFluffy

Just that. I've never liked being me, but can't change who I am. Diagnosed anxiety, previous episodes of depression.

How can I just accept that I will always be quiet/unsociable and make peace with that?

I live with this everyday and it's exhausting. Not many know. As I don't think anyone will understand unless you feel them feelings yourself. The main reason I try so hard to get a grip every day is for my 8 year old son. I keep telling myself my whole world is for him and there's no point wasting time not accepting yourself. Life is way to short. Hope that make sense and helps a little.

Thankyou everybody. ❤️

@SorenLorensonsInvisibleFriend that’s a great way to think of it - we are so much harder on ourselves than others.

OP - how would others describe you? Calm, tranquil, kind?

I had this open in a tab. I love Louise Hay.