Its a long story really so i wil try to shorten it as much as i can.
well in January 2006, my mum passed away suddenly with a stroke. Waiting and praying for 23 hrs, clinging on to her, hoping she would pull through. Horrid time, but time has also passed and i have learnt to live with the pain.
At the time i was 4 months pregnant with ds 2. Getting through till he was born was a blur, not sure and to be honest do not remember much.
I had councelling and have been on ad's for nearly a year now, neither have helped really. Just made me feel weird sometimes and alright (when i had a drink) I have stoped drinking for the last three months.
Last night i nearly eneded our marrige becuase i am sick of the way dh spoke to me, or made no effort (not even a card on my bday) and a bunch of other things that just made me want to end it. We have not made love for like 19 months. I cant bear the thought, i feel sick even getting changed.
I am sorry this is the most crapiest post ever but i find it so hard to put all of this out.
I cant cope any more. I dread waking up every morning, having to do the same thing every day. i go on the computer and leve the kids to play, or watch tv like a zombie. I dont get dressed or brush my hair for days. Just dont see the point in anything any more. I am tearful all day, i shout loads at the kids and i know dh will not be looking forward to coming home to a messy house, and a misserably old bag of a wife, but i just cant do this anymore.
I do have ppl to talk to, but 'getting a job' is not really on my list right now.
I dont want to go back to the doctors so that theuy can give me something else to hide what is going on.