Hiya,
I wanted to post my positive experience, in case anyone comes across this during a late night google search desperate for answers like I was.
I've been on Sertraline for 2.5 years. Started on 50g for a year, then went to 100 when it wasn't working. Then in the past two months, I hit a low point. Every day was a bad day, I didn't care about my toddler, I actively considered divorcing my husband (who is an absolute angel and an amazing man), and walking out the door and never coming back.
I was doing CBT and I've worked with multiple therapists and doctors over the years. I knew all the 'tools' I needed (like taking walks, self-care, eating right, exercise, etc), but I had 0 motivation to do them. It all seemed too hard. I felt rage at everything.
Life didn't matter. Nothing mattered. I considered self harm and ultimately taking my life because I was desperate to not feel this way anymore. I felt like a prisoner in my own house. My toddler caught a nasty chest infection and conjunctivitis, and I didn't care about making him better. I was just annoyed that it meant no preschool and no time to myself.
My husband convinced me to call my doctor. I didn't want to because it just meant admitting I was still crazy. So crazy I might even need more crazy pills. But I did it because I was desperate to feel even half functional again.
I talked to an advanced nurse practitioner, and she was amazing. She was like, "Oh of course, honey! Why on earth did you suffer so long before calling us? We're here to keep you from getting to that point again!" And prescribed the higher dose straight away.
This was two days ago, and I have to say, I'm already feeling a bit better on the 150g. Not a miraculous overnight transformation. But I'm already catching a glimpse of light and motivation back. When I told the nurse I felt bad for being on a higher dose, she said, "If you had diabetes and I prescribed you insulin, you wouldn't hesitate for a second to take it, would you?"
I know a lot of us on this board are taking sertraline or some other form of anti-depressants. I just wanted to relay my story and reiterate that you deserve to feel good. It's not shameful to need medication. And it's not shameful to need MORE medication. It's really common to plateau eventually on these meds, and you might need a higher dose to have the same effect after a while.
Please don't suffer. You don't need to. Just reach out and get whatever help you need. You don't have to feel this way. And there's an entire team of people who are ready to help you. Depression sucks. Anxiety sucks. It feels like it will never be better. But it will.
Sending hugs from one mental health warrior to another x