I'm so fed up of feeling like this. I can't even run away. I just want to feel better.

[coupleofquestions]

I have pnd and I'm sick of it. I just want to feel normal again. Everytime I take a step forward I come crashing down again a few days later.

I feel like running away but I can't even do that. I can't get anywhere on my own cos of my anxiety attacks.

Everyone tells me I have such a good baby cos she's quiet and I hate it. I just keep thinking she's quiet because I don't play with her enough or because she's picked up on my shyness. She doesn't roll or crawl and I'm sure it's cos I don't know how to encourage her. I feel useless.

Hiya, I know where you are coming from re the running away feeling - i get it about once a week, bujt then realise theres nowhere to go and i coudlnt leave my ds etc etc. Are you getting support for your pnd? Can you talk to your partner (if you have one) about it? I also feel guilty if i havent been very talkative with ds (not like he can talk back yet!) but im sure a bit of quiet time is fine for them.

I know its difficult to get started, but i have found that exercise really helps - and i am very unfit. If you feel unable to go out for a walk with your dd, you could do an exercise video maybe?

Im sorry you are having such a hard time. It will pass, but its HORRIBLE when you are wading through the thick of it. You are not useless, just overwhelmed and too hard on yourself.((coupleofquestions))

I have regular visits from the HV though she doesn't even get my name right . Getting referred for counselling too.

Dh is supportive which makes me feel crap too cos I've been really horrible to him.

I keep trying to make myself go out more and that sort of thing but I give in to my anxiety too easily.

Thanks for replying btw

Are you getting treatment for this? If not you MUST.

How old is your baby? If she is queit it is because she is HAPPY!!! She may well grow up to be shy because she inherited it from you, genetically or how you raise her, but shyness isnt so bad, as long as its not extreme. She could well be one of lifes little thinkers. My little one was quiet, WAS, she is 2.5 now and ooh, about two weeks ago, everything changed, shes manic

Rolling and crawling, i have been told and read are not learnt behaviours so how can your encourage it. It will happen in its own time. My DD never crawled she bum shuffled, walked quite late but she is fine.

None of my advice will make any difference to you though will it, because you have PND and it distorts everything. I know that because i have PND too and struggled for two years on my own with no help. It was really down to mumsnet and a huge meltdown that i finally got the help i need. OK, so i am not better yet but im coping. I am on ADs and they make such a difference to how i feel. I totally empathise with the anxiety it is a huge problem for me too.

Please dont feel you are useless, get some help. Talk to your DP or family, see your doctor, i bypassed my HV because she was useless.

I'm on ADs. They are helping but I'm not sleeping properly, which doc thinks is a temporary side effect. Getting about 2 hours a night at the moment, though it does seem to be improving a little. Doctor has been very helpful.

I had severe PND with DD, ended up in a specialist renal unit with kidney failure after an OD. Just didn't feel like it would get any better, ever.
Thankfully it did. Please try to get as much help as possible, if your hv can't even remember your name, ask to change, or try to find somewhere else that can help.
I hope everything else went ok btw.

Thank you Victorian Squalor. That appointment had gone by the time I rang back. Meant to be going tomorrow but my period has started (assume that means they won't be able to do it - find out in am) so gonna have it all hanging over my head for a while longer yet.

Hi, my sister had PND, I don't know much (anything really) about it except how crap it is, but just want to send supportive vibes. Sorry to have no helpful advice. But best wishes and hoping that the help you need will come.

How long have you been on your ADs? My god thats not enough sleep. Have you tried hypnosis cds? I know im full of 'useful' advice - its a lot easier to dish it out than take it myself! Anyway - i used to only be able to sleep if i listened to a tape - some general relaxation one, or failing that - i listened to jeeves and wooster read by stephen fry - didnt make me sad and stopped me thinking of anything else. Im glad your doctor is helpful, some dont understand at all. xx

are you taking citalopram? insomnia is a common side effect, but the side effects do wear off over time and they can take up to a month to start working. What dosage are you on, maybe you need it upped a little, i did. My doctor suggested i had PND when my dd was a few months old. SEnt the HV round, she did a questionaire thing and told me i was clinically depressed. Two years on, she has never mentioned it, apart from telling me how wonderful she thinks i am and that my life is really shit - patronising cow. Thankfully my new doctor feels the same and i have now had some counselling, no bloody good at all, not enough sessions.

Talk on here as much as you can, it helps to clear the fog.

are you taking citalopram? insomnia is a common side effect, but the side effects do wear off over time and they can take up to a month to start working. What dosage are you on, maybe you need it upped a little, i did. My doctor suggested i had PND when my dd was a few months old. SEnt the HV round, she did a questionaire thing and told me i was clinically depressed. Two years on, she has never mentioned it, apart from telling me how wonderful she thinks i am and that my life is really shit - patronising cow. Thankfully my new doctor feels the same and i have now had some counselling, no bloody good at all, not enough sessions.

Talk on here as much as you can, it helps to clear the fog.

Thanks pooter. I think I do need to find a way of switching off in an evening. Not sure if hypnosis cd's would be my sort of thing tbh.

LEM - yeah, I'm on Citalopram. Have been on it for about 5 weeks now I think. Really hope the insomnia does wear off soon. I'm on 20mg per day.

Am off to bed. sending sleepy vibes your way xxx

I take mine in the morning, maybe thats why i dont get insomnia. I do have trouble getting back to sleep if i wake but ive always had that problem. I have to say, and dont think im being rude, but its quite late and i always find if i am on the computor late i battle to sleep, head spinning etc. I might call it a night myself and maybe you should find a book (if you can concentrate i battle at the moment) and go to bed. Blimey, i sound like someones mother! Actually, maybe i should take my own advice

Do let us know how you get on, even if you just come on and rant, we know how you are feeling, none of us are exactly the same but i am stunned by the amount of threads i read and think, shit, i could have written that.

Be kind to yourself

Thanks, I did start taking them in the morning at first but found I was feeling like falling asleep by about 6pm so the doc suggested I fiddle about trying different times. Am now taking them around lunchtime as she said to take them with food and if I leave it until evening I get no sleep.

You're right about me being on here too late . I should definitely force myself to switch the computer off earlier. Maybe I should ask MN to ban me after 8pm .

I'm going to try and get some sleep now. Thanks everyone for making me feel less alone. x

i hope you are ok or feeling a bit better this morning

hope you are feeling better today, you are most definately not alone

Hi - was thinking of you last night as i couldnt get to sleep! How are you doing?

just another how are you doing

how are you couple of questions?

Hi,

Feeling a bit better today. Had a bit more sleep than usual last night which helped. Also managed to have the tests done yesterday so that was a lot off my mind too.

Thanks

Acoupleofquestions. I have problems sleeping too and have a terrible time trying to "wind down" in the evening so thoguht I would leave you a few tips.

1. No computer after 6/7pm, not even Mumsnet. [yuck but it works]

1. A good book but nothing too sad, or deep and meaningful.

1. Nice warm [not hot] bath with some lavender.

1. Lavender on pillows.

1. If not asleep after 15 minutes get up and re-read boring book.

1. No sleeping during the day and try to attempt to keep to the same routine each day.

I do hope you feel better soon.

Hope it all goes well with the tests, I'd imagine that isn't helping you sleep or feel any better.