Having another kid while fighting PND

[JustMakingBananaPancakes]

Hiya,

I've got a toddler who is amazing, but having him really tanked my MH. I've been on sertraline for 2+ years now, plus two therapists and enhanced health visitor support.

I want another kid. But I just can't wrap my head around going through this again. I've recently discovered I have Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), which is like an extreme form of PMT. Part of me really wants a hysterectomy so I don't have to experience the monthly car crash that makes me want to end it all.

But I want that second kid first. Anyone been through this struggle? Do I just need to buck up and get pregnant? Or is it irresponsible to conceive again when my MH is so shaky? And is it ridiculous to have a second kid to get it over with because I know eventually I will want one?

Hi 👋🏼 sorry you’ve had such a hard time.
I was ok with child 1, went batshit with child 2 (requiring a lot of MH input/mother and baby unit etc) and then went on to have child 3.
I must say I waited until I was ok before having no 3. I was fortunate that when I eventually agreed to taking the medication (I was adamant that it would not help and I was breastfeeding and paranoid) I recovered quite well. Having gone from 1-2 already I knew that it was a huge, huge change and although I had always wanted 3 we didn’t try until we were totally sure I was ok/recovered. I wouldn’t have considered it otherwise. If there is anything worse than looking after one child with PND, it is looking after 2. Going from 0 to 1 child is a massive practical/life change. Going from 1-2 is extremely difficult emotionally for so many people (being realistic). If you’re still wobbly it might be a good idea to wait until you are stronger.
I got perinatal support in pregnancy 3 and was put on prophylactic medication after giving birth. I avoided another bout of PND so it is possible to have another and not go through the same experience again.