just need to talk to someone

[SunFlowerlove]

I have been diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression.
I am currently 17 weeks pregnant and feel guilty and useless that I’m feeling the way I do, I feel like I should be happy and enjoying the pregnancy or at least that’s what everyone’s telling me.

I have bad thoughts over take my head, to the point in sends me into panic and I don’t know how to get out of it. It’s thoughts of bad things happening to me or my partner while he’s working(army) so that’s hard anyway.
I feel so alone even though I have my family and his family to support me but I can’t bring myself to go to them and try explain what’s going on.
Ive been signed off work due to this but work haven’t been supportive what so ever and made some horrible comments about me being pregnant whilst I have mental health issues. There are some days I don’t feel like being around anymore, I know I do as I want to be the best for when baby arrives but I can’t get the thought out my head:/

I just feel like I’m a let down and worthless, I’m stuck in a very deep hole and don’t know how to get out or manage it.

I am in contact with the doctor and midwife and start CBT in 2 weeks but have nothing until that starts. I don’t really want to be put on medication either as I’ve had them before and they’ve never worked for me.

Just starting to give up:(

Many ADs are safe in pregnancy. What have you tried in the past?

Oh OP. Sending a supportive hug your way. I was pregnant with anxiety and depression, I was living with my parents at the time and they found it hard to see me so unwell. I went for some CBT while pregnant and it really helped, I was dismissed from a job aswell during my pregnancy and I think that's what made my MH issues worse. I felt suicidal too, but thankfully I had the therapist to work through those feelings with. I knew deep down that I loved my baby too much to end my life..he was the only reason I was keeping myself alive, he was going to become my world, and he did, him and his little brother are my whole world and reason for getting out of bed in the morning, 9 years on.