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Original poster

Two questions ……

7 replies

Exit101 · 06/10/2021 20:24

Would appreciate any advice please -

Do any of you use any kind of fidget/distraction type things to change your mind set when your anxious or having negative thoughts etc - if so what do you recommend?

How do you explain to family/friends how you feel when you are feeling rubbish. The only way I can try to describe it is if I stop my meds I feel ‘wobbly or unstable’ but has anyone got a better way of explaining this to someone who doesn’t experience mental health issues?

OP posts:
Original poster
Exit101 · 07/10/2021 08:09

Anyone?😔

OP posts:
Stuffragette · 07/10/2021 08:38

I don't know if it's the same I do a bit of cross stitch. My dd is adhd and I occasionally pick up her simple dimple which I do find quite calming. Don't know if that helps.

Stuffragette · 07/10/2021 08:53

As well about relatives I sent them an email explaining everything and it kind of meant they definitely lowered their expectations of me. As well DH is my biggest supporter/defender. My in laws are medics which is a nightmare. He just tells them to shut up!

languagelover96 · 07/10/2021 08:57

I find that a face to face talk helped me. In terms of hobbies, I love to learn different languages so that keeps me busy and sane at the same time. Try it.

Sarahlou63 · 07/10/2021 10:41

Rather than trying to avoid anxious or negative thoughts (which simply suppresses them, only for them to pop up another time) you could try addressing them instead.

As soon as you have a negative thought, stop thinking and write it down.

Then write down the following;

  1. What was the trigger for the thought? Was a memory, a conversation, a physical event (i.e. I just tripped so I'm likely to break my hip one day)?
  1. How do I feel both mentally and physically now I've had this thought? List your emotions and physical reactions. (As a separate exercise, google the sympathetic nervous system to understand how you body reacts to stress and - importantly - how it can't differentiate between stress caused by thoughts or mental images and stress caused by actual danger).
  1. What exactly was it that upset me about the thought? Where would I normally end up when I have this thought (for example, with the broken hip above you could imagine yourself catching MRSA in hospital or being permanently disabled)
  1. What are the objective facts that prove your thought is true? Try to step outside yourself to really critique the thought.
  1. What are the objective facts that prove your thought is untrue? Thoughts are not facts, they are just random ideas.
  1. What would you say to a friend who voiced your thought? Would you agree that a simple trip would be a fast track to pain and suffering or would you suggest that they buy some better slippers?
  1. Now you've taken the power from the thought and dissected it, is it still valid? How do you feel now?

This is a longish process to begin with but if you do it every time you have a negative thought (when you can) you will find it becomes quicker and easier. Taking control of what you do with your thoughts will allow you to respond appropriately rather than to react.

Original poster
Exit101 · 07/10/2021 21:12

Thankyou for all your replies. The problem I have with the thoughts is they come on suddenly and I can’t explain them. It’s almost like this overwhelming sense of something awful is going to happen, or like if you have ever experienced that feeling of pain so bad you don’t know what to do with your self… it’s like that but mentally I don’t know what to do rather than a physical pain. And I don’t think it’s anything specific that triggers it, one minute I can be fine then it’s like a switch is flicked and all of a sudden I’m wanting to take a load of medication or self harm. Then get annoyed with my self if I do it and do it again because I feel rubbish about it which gets my stuck in a horrible cycle.

OP posts:
Sarahlou63 · 08/10/2021 09:23

I'd really urge you to try the exercise, because at the moment you are convinced that you at the mercy of your negative thoughts. You're not. You can't stop them happening - no one can (and do understand that EVERYONE has vile, nasty, disturbing, ridiculous thoughts on a regular basis) - but you don't have to get into that downward spiral; you DO have control over that.

When you get an "overwhelming sense of something awful is going to happen" try using the to get some space and perspective so that you can learn to response to a thought rather than react to it.

Also, I think you'd get some use out of understanding cognitive distortions - this is a great guide;

arfamiliesfirst.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Cognitive-Distortions.pdf

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