What's wrong with me?

[Hayleydobedoo]

Hi all

Been wondering whether to post or not in fear of sounding silly but here goes, always been an anxious person and always think the worst of situations etc but as time goes on no improvement, im 31 just had a baby which has made me so happy , its all we wanted for a long time... i work full time, love my gardening, I like my own company and simple pleasures in life I am very content with those close to me but I have this naggling fear all the time that something bad is around the corner, my mum has an unhealthy lifestyle we have tried to change that numerous times doesn't work shes 48 and so stubborn but everyday I wake up and go to sleep thinking anytime soon I'm going to lose her which sounds mad to anyone that has lost someone that close to them why I'm not just enjoying life and worrying but i cant help it, now I have a baby im fearing something is going to happen to him, i have other things in life going on work, money etc its not like i need a ' real problem' its just i cant get away from this thought process my partner is very good to me hes a positive person and uplifts me as much as he can but its almost like I can be focused enjoying life then bam... what if this what if that...its draining please am i alone on this? If you have felt the same what did you do to help? Ive had no therapy as yet...done nothing to try and help aside from try to distract myself as much as possible x

Hi, have you considered self referring for CBT? There’s usually a wait but it may be helpful. If it is time consuming and taking over your life perhaps speak with the GP and see if they suggest something for you. I can relate as I also suffer with anxiety very badly. I also have a mum who has an unhealthy life style that I have wasted a lot of time worrying over. I don’t have much contact with her anymore. X

It's worthwhile asking yourself what benefit is worrying adding to your life? Will it change your mum's behaviour or alter her life expectancy?

Fear, and it's close cousin, worry, are useless emotions - they achieve nothing and can ruin lives. Yes, bad things happen in life but most of the time there is absolutely nothing we can do about them.

With your mum you could be proactive and talk to her about her will, her wishes should she be hospitalised, her finances, end of life care (this might just give her the kick up the arse she needs to reassess her life). You could also agree that she will text you at a certain time every day as a reassurance (although if she's unlikely to stick to that then don't do it as it could increase your anxiety).

Also, have a look at this guide to cognitive distortions - I think you'll recognise some of your thought patterns in there!

arfamiliesfirst.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Cognitive-Distortions.pdf