I’ve developed a terrible fear of chronic pain and it’s giving me panic attacks.
As a teenager I had a bladder infection that resulted in chronic pain. The doctors just shrugged and said the infection is gone so the pain is imaginary, the only treatment offered was anti depressants and other drugs to affect my mental state. Eventually after several years of being ignored the pain slowly subsided on its own. Then I had a c-section which left me with permanent pain in my stomach, the doctors just shrugged and said it happens to women who have babies, they didn’t give a shit and offered no treatment, just pushed me out the door and told me to take paracetamol. I’ve been in pain for three years now.
It’s left me with a fear of chronic pain. Whenever I have pain I’m afraid it won’t stop, and nobody will be able to help me or make it stop, or even give a shit. Worst case I’ll be accused of making it up and told my pain isn’t real. Recently I had some dental treatment which has left me with a permanent toothache. All I’m getting from the dentist is “it doesn’t work like that, the pain goes away after the treatment is completed, we’ve done thousands of treatments and nobody has ever had permanent pain”. So again that shrugging response and my pain doesn’t matter and isn’t real. I can’t stop crying. I’m terrified the pain is going to be permanent and yet again nobody is going to listen to me or care that I’m suffering. I’m repeatedly having panic attacks every time I have a twinge of pain.