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Abortion regret and dumped

12 replies

Luluflower29 · 28/09/2021 18:34

I don't even know if I can post this here but I don't know where else to turn too.
8 weeks I had an abortion which iv regretted since that very day. When I found out I was unexpectedly pregnant I knew instantly my partner would want me to get an abortion. When I told him I was pregnant he was so shocked and basically said if I dont get an abortion it will destroy our relationship and iv no other choice. He said his family wouldn't not approve and would also push me into getting an abortion (we are both in our mid 20s). He also said it would ruin his life and thought of it made him feel suicidal :(.
He promised me if I got an abortion that he would stick by me forever and support me and in a few years we would start a family.
The night before the abortion I cried to him and begged him to change his mind which he got angry about, so the next day I went ahead with it. I was 6 weeks pregnant and I seen what I had created pass out through me which was so traumatic. I collected it and buried it in my flower garden.
As the days passed by I had so much regret and guilt where as my partner went on as if nothing had happened. Shortly after that my dog who was also my best friend died very unexpectedly, so I was now dealing with 2 lots of grief but was glad of my partners presence.
On sunday gone by 8 weeks after my abortion and 6 weeks after my dog died my partner told me he is breaking up with me as he doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore. I feel like my whole world is falling apart. When I needed his support the most he has gone an abandoned me. I know the past few weeks iv been sad and probably not the best company to be around but he promised he would support me and now I'm left with nothing.
I regret my abortion so so much and I wish I was strong enough to go ahead what I knew deep down was the right thing to do and kept my baby. I can stop crying and can barely get out of bed. I hate this world.
I dont know what to do and dont know how to cope with all these losses 💔💔💔

OP posts:
nellly · 28/09/2021 18:35

I'm so sorry, you've had a horrendous time of things and he sounds like an absolute arsehole. It won't seem like it now but you're so much better without him.
Try and take it one step at a time and access some counselling for your abortion Thanks

coodawoodashooda · 28/09/2021 18:38

That must be devastating. I am so sorry.

rejectedcarrit · 28/09/2021 18:45

So sorry OP. I think you've dodged a bullet though, he doesn't sound like a great partner if you were expressing such doubt the night before and he was pressuring you into going ahead. You will survive this and you will be stronger for it and you will meet someone who is better than this x

PerseverancePays · 28/09/2021 18:53

Sorry for your losses and having such a hard time. He does not sound like he would have been a good partner to you, but that doesn’t help right now. Get some counselling for yourself and know that you will come to terms with what happened and allow yourself to be happy again. You might always feel sad over the potential baby you lost , but you can get past it too. 💐

Talktalkchat · 28/09/2021 22:55

Darling it’s awful having a termination of a child you wanted.

However you’ve seen what your ex is like and you can make way for nicer people in your life.

July56 · 29/09/2021 01:08

I’m so sorry for all you’ve been through and no wonder you’re finding things so difficult at the moment. You’re grieving which is normal but if you feel things are getting too much please see your gp as there is help there for you.

IndecentCakes · 29/09/2021 01:15

I'm so sorry to read this. You are in a lot of pain right now, that's clear. You sound like a warm and loving person - unlike this nasty, selfish man. It will hurt terribly, but ultimately it is best to be rid of him.

Plumtree391 · 29/09/2021 01:41

I'm so sorry you are in such great pain.

I promise you this will pass. At the moment your hormones are all over the place.

In time you will be glad that you have no tie to this arsehole of a man, and be ready to move on.

You're depressed, please seek some professional counselling. The BPAS can advise you about where to go for this or you can look online for local qualified and experienced counsellors. Being able to talk it through in a confidential setting will be therapeutic.

In the meantime, please do take care of yourself. Sleep when you want to; don't feel bad about not doing things, it's natural when you are depressed. Make sure you eat and drink even if not hungry.

Flowers
MintJulia · 29/09/2021 02:56

I'm so sorry this has happened to you.

The only bright spot is that you are rid of this horrible excuse for a man. A mean-spirited selfish coward. At least now you can spend some time on yourself to heal and then choose a decent kind man who will care about your happiness.

Have you thought about better contraception?

CallyWW · 29/09/2021 03:37

I promise things will get better! Take care of yourself & talk to a professional counsellor. Maybe go adopt a new pet or get your hair cut, book a wknd away with your girlfriends, do whatever you think will help get you through this sad time. Xx

Luluflower29 · 29/09/2021 15:19

Thank you all so much for your lovely kind words it really means alot ❤ I have booked an appointment with my gp for Friday and have made contact with a counsellor. I'm stronger than this xx

OP posts:
Plumtree391 · 29/09/2021 19:43

That's progress, Lulu. Well done.

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