I don't even know if I can post this here but I don't know where else to turn too.
8 weeks I had an abortion which iv regretted since that very day. When I found out I was unexpectedly pregnant I knew instantly my partner would want me to get an abortion. When I told him I was pregnant he was so shocked and basically said if I dont get an abortion it will destroy our relationship and iv no other choice. He said his family wouldn't not approve and would also push me into getting an abortion (we are both in our mid 20s). He also said it would ruin his life and thought of it made him feel suicidal :(.
He promised me if I got an abortion that he would stick by me forever and support me and in a few years we would start a family.
The night before the abortion I cried to him and begged him to change his mind which he got angry about, so the next day I went ahead with it. I was 6 weeks pregnant and I seen what I had created pass out through me which was so traumatic. I collected it and buried it in my flower garden.
As the days passed by I had so much regret and guilt where as my partner went on as if nothing had happened. Shortly after that my dog who was also my best friend died very unexpectedly, so I was now dealing with 2 lots of grief but was glad of my partners presence.
On sunday gone by 8 weeks after my abortion and 6 weeks after my dog died my partner told me he is breaking up with me as he doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore. I feel like my whole world is falling apart. When I needed his support the most he has gone an abandoned me. I know the past few weeks iv been sad and probably not the best company to be around but he promised he would support me and now I'm left with nothing.
I regret my abortion so so much and I wish I was strong enough to go ahead what I knew deep down was the right thing to do and kept my baby. I can stop crying and can barely get out of bed. I hate this world.
I dont know what to do and dont know how to cope with all these losses 💔💔💔