TW suicide, Please tell me what to do!

[DuckingMel]

It was like a switch got flipped last night and now fiance says that he feels like absolutely nothing matters and he will kill himself. He just wants the pain to stop (he hates his work, but can't see a way out). He will do it with a hoard of psychiatric medication he hasn't used.

He says he does not care about me of my son (his step DC) or his somewhat estranged adult son, who a few weeks ago attempted suicide twice (he is far away, abroad, and we cannot reach him).

I'm still at my fiance's house and I do not do what to do. I am supposed to go to work tomorrow, but I can't leave him alone. If I take away the medication, he would likely still attempt using a knife (he has done this before) or anything he can have to hand, if I leave him to it. If I take the knives, he may use broken glass.

I'm at a loss. He says he will hate me if I call 999 or 111. He says he hate me, if I try to get him sectioned. What do I do? I don't want him to hate me, but I don't want him to die. Please tell me what to do! I'm in Scotland and he is under NHS psychiatric services, but doesn't have a CPN or a crisis plan.

call 999. You can't stop him

You have to call 999 I think. It doesn't matter if he hates you. He is very unwell and could get better but not if he commits suicide.

How tough. I would call for help immediately. He isn’t thinking rationally and needs you to bring help in.

I'm afraid that he will lie to any professionals to make them go away.

These are the words of someone who is mentally unwell. He doesn't hate you, the way he is feeling and wanting a way out makes you the bad guy in his eyes for trying to stop him.
I'm sure if he was well and you was trying to help someone else in this position he wouldn't say you were doing something wrong?

Call 999 and get him the help he needs. If you think he might kick off at you, leave the house as planned tomorrow morning for work and call 999 as soon as you are out the door xx

@DuckingMel

I'm afraid that he will lie to any professionals to make them go away.

maybe - but you still need to try

Phone 999. He will hate you now but you will have saved his life.

I don't want him to hate me, but I don't want him to die.

Breathe deeply and reread that
Call 999

Thank you all. He has just gotten up. He's not said a word to me yet, but if he is still the same, I will call 999 tomorrow morning.

You need to try for your own peace of mind.
My experience of those who threaten suicide is that if they are serious, they will probably do it at sometime or other and you can’t stop them, but they need help.
Those who are using it as a threat, need help for the desperation they are feeling now. Call for help. You’ll have done your best.

He is not talking about killing himself any more. But I am not sure it isn't to stop me from calling 999. He doesn't want to go out, but is eating and talking about going to work tomorrow, because he feels has to (despite him having sizeable saving pot and me promising that I can keep us afloat on my own).

I think you have to look after your own mental health too and this sounds like a really difficult situation.

Deep breath and call in the professionals. Yes he might not appreciate it right now but he isn’t exactly thinking about how unfair it is to put you in this position. If the worst happens I think you have to know you did everything you could.

Like others have said if someone is talking about it it is usually because some part of them wants help.

I will see how he is, today. He is, so far, just subdued. I don't know what to do. Maybe he doesn't need sectioning.

My own mental health is terrible. I have awful anxiety around work. I feel like I'm not doing a good enough job. And that extends to my personal life. I'm slightly resentful that I have to rescue him, when I, myself, feel like I do.

He is now napping on the sofa for hours. I am not sure what to do.

I don’t have any really advice, but just wanted to extend a handhold. From what you’ve said, you have to reach out to professionals. Not only is his mental health a bigger issue than you alone can fix, but you’re also making your own poor mental health worse. You have to look after yourself.
And him telling you that he wants to kill himself may well be his own way of asking for help.

Be kind to yourself

Call samaritans yourself to talk

Call 999 if he threatens

CAll 111 and explain

If he begs you not to call 999 then eave the house and call 999 let paramedics decide what is best
Be aware if you say adult with knife threatening suicide protocol might be to send police too as back up dont be alarmed

You cannot stop him or fix him or rescue him
He needs outside help
Is he under crisis team ? He would need to speak to them

He is not under a crisis team.

He is now talking about the future. But he still doesn't want me to dispose of the extra medication. I'm sure he will be angry at me if I take it. I would not hesitate, but my DC loves him and would be heart broken to never see him again. I am aware that this all sounds stupid. I need to do the right thing and take the medication. I'm just not sure I am strong enough.

You need to tell someone e.
LeVe
And ask police to do a welfare check in couple hours.
It is not on you tocontrol his medication if it was prescribed.
Call his gp tomorrow and tell them so they can decide.
www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/caring-carers-and-long-term-conditions/can-i-speak-to-a-gp-about-someone-elses-health/#:~:text=You%20can%20raise%20concerns%20about,able%20to%20discuss%20any%20details.

You can raise concerns about a friend or relative's health with their GP without their consent, but because of patient confidentiality, the GP will not be able to discuss any details.

So you tell them what you said here
His gp decides any aCtion
You done your bit

Thank you, Embracelife. I will decide what to do tomorrow morning. At least I know what his GP practice is.