Hi🌻 first of all I want to say sorry for any mistakes I've made, English is not my first language so sometimes it's hard to express myself. Plus, I had a huuuge breakdown last night and still don't feel like myself, so please don't be so harsh on me. Thank you! 😊
The last few years have been difficult for me and my husband. I lost my job just before the first lockdown and remained unemployed until this spring, so we have been living on my husband's income all this time. I returned to my previous job in April, our financial situation has improved since then, but my psychological wellbeing has become much worse... I hate that job, even the thought of it makes me cry and stressed, I can't sleep at night because I'm always worried and the worst part is that I cannot leave it, because there are no other jobs in our small town. We also have problems with infertility, which are not easy for me either... Recently my husband got a promotion and we have been thinking about moving to another city. We started looking for a new place to rent and faced our first challenge - rent price. He looks at places that are well above our budget and there's no way we can afford it in the worst case scenario. And I told him what I think. He told me we can afford it if I find any job quickly and stayed employed, because he doesn't want to be the only person who works in our house (which is totally fine, I get it and understand him!!) but at the same time I feel a bit angry at him and myself... So, we're moving, the only thing that changes for him is the place we live, meanwile I have to find any job I hate and start working immediately so we can afford the place. And I'm angry at myself as well, because I know I won't be able to cope with another job I hate. I've been thinking about switching my career ( I've been working in differet warehouse my whole adult life and I want to start my photography career as it is the only thing I'm really good at & it makes my happy) but now it doesn't seem possible to do. I feel so lost and lonely...