Hi,
So for background I have been previously diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and depression (a good few years ago). I'm not on any medication for it as tried numerous medications and hated the side effects then eventually got CBT therapy which literally saved me. Fast forward 6+ years and I have my anxiety and depression under control majority of the time but feel as though there's more to it. I struggle explain how I feel so I will just list a few things that I mean:
- some days are great and I am extremely happy
- some days I feel extremely low (for no particular reason)
- often go from being extremely happy to very sad/emotional/angry sometimes within the space of a minute or sometimes within days/weeks
- often go threw phases- eg: will have no motivation and won't want to clean around house for days then it will suddenly switch and I cannot stop cleaning until it's spotless, will be extremely interested in new hobbies then switch to something new very quickly and forget old hobbie
- can have very bad memory and focus
- gets very agitated by certain things eg: certain noises irritate me if there is too many noises at the same time
- nobody knows this as this is massively kept a secret but I will also feel massive highs of happiness to extreme suicidal thoughts some times which are tough as can switch back to being happy again so quickly
Sorry for the long list of what will probably seem like complete chaos but does anybody have any idea why I am like this? I just want to be normal and not know what each day will be like but have no idea where to start in getting help for myself as when im happy im great.
If you've read this far then thank you