Go private?

[tetrisgal]

My DS14 wants some help for what we assume is depression which includes some self harming and risky behaviour.

He went to GP, no diagnosis, advice was to look at some websites or go on online forums and chat with other teens.

He's not willing to do this and as CAMHS is at breaking point, my question is this...

Is it worth going private for some counselling? Don't know where to start.

We've just started private counselling for our DD who is struggling with a few different issues that are all related to anxiety. Our first port of call was our GP, who was sympathetic and recognised that she needed help but but was brutally honest about the chances of being able to access proper support via CAHMS (e.g. absolutely no hope at all).

He was however very helpful in referring us to a private clinical psychologist with a specific specialism in childhood anxiety and OCD. This referral was invaluable because up until that point I had been googling for local therapists, who all basically seem to do everything under the sun, from eating disorders to marriage counselling . She has had two sessions so far and I am hugely relieved we didn't go down the vague 'therapy' route - the psychologist is taking a proper clinical approach.

So my advice would be to go back to your GP (or a different one if they were useless) and ask for a private referral, if you are going to go down this route. Good luck.

We are about £4K in to trying to get dd help privately . Currently about to start cbt after trying everything else ! I would pay for a psychiatrist to do a clinical assessment and find one that follows Nice guidelines so the nhs will accept the Diagnosis.

Best decision I've ever made. I got passed pillar to post on NHS mental health services. Was referred as urgent to secondary care as an immediate suicide risk and got 4 assessments in the space of 18 months. Then covid happened and they discharged me because I had no where private to do phone counselling over lockdown. I never did get any therapy or anything.

I went private in the end and my therapist is worth his weight in gold.

I did therapy privately for around 4 years. I know if I hadn't I would not have made it past my 26th birthday. I'm glad you're taking it seriously.

Look for someone who has experience working with teens and it's okay to see which therapist suits your child better too.

www.professionalstandards.org.uk/check-practitioners/practitioner/child-therapist

Definitely worth it but as pp have said go for a practitioner specialising with children. Can you see another GP in the practice? The forum advice is dreadful. There’s massive peer pressure and copying behaviour on most of them.

Yes we have gone down the private route - look for someone specialising in adolescence though.

Thank you all so much for your helpful replies and for sharing your experiences.

I will do my best to get him a referral or find someone on recommendation. We need to find him the right help somehow.

The good thing is that he recognises he has a problem and wants to solve it. It's such a shame that he found the courage to go to the GP (alone I might add!) and unfortunately they weren't able to offer him anything. But I do appreciate how many more urgent cases they must be presented with.

They didn't even offer a referral to Camhs ? So shocking ! I would go back with him and try again as he is only 14!

@gunnersgold no they didn't refer, just recommended he look at Kooth. No diagnosis yet, said that would have to be done by a psychiatrist.

Update: got in contact with GP again to explore private referral. Upshot is we can either a) wait a very long time for NHS help or b) find our own private therapy then ask GP for referral if we need one.

It's a bit irritating that today I asked for a GP who's well versed in adolescent mental health to help us but the same (not very helpful) one who saw DS the first time called me back, but I'm moving on...!

You don't need a gp referral if you are paying ( at least I didn't ) . I just found a adolescent expert psychiatrist and got on with it . All under 18's have to go via camhs for mental health issues which is thr problem . I'd still push for a gp referral to camhs anyway as he is only 14 , he has 4 years left before he is an adult and may need cbt , therapy etc which is soo expensive!