I met someone 18 months ago that was just sober from alcohol. He still is sober from that day but he has depression and chronic pain too. So on paper he's perhaps not ideal for dating. But I love him and actually he is many wonderful things to me and we have alot of love between us. I'm a very understanding person so I don't take things to heart and perhaps once a week on average he will overreact to a small thing. He's not violent. But will be horrible with his words. He always blames me. It's always me in a bad mood or me who was wrong for asking him a question like do you need space, or is there anything wrong in our relationship you want to talk about.
I am learning to be very careful about asking him questions when he's flat. But it can be difficult because he can go from loving to atop talking to me because you are really annoyinge today.
Twice this month I've sensed his moods poor on awakening and he ends up eventually blaming me later in the day. He's got some unhealthy emotional ties with his ex still and he got quite defensive last week when I asked a question about them currently communicating. He felt attacked and basically said he didn't want to see me again and said I was playing games etc. It was bizarre. Then yesterday he rang me but wasn't chatty like normal. He said he had nothing to say. So I left it and he contacted me again 3 hours later. Still moody. Told me it was me in some weird mood and said he didn't want to see me last night. He calmed an hour later and I did go round. We cuddled and watched a film and I realised he was in pain and over thinking not being able to have sex last night. He kept explaining it so I reassured him it wasn't about sex all the time.
Anyway I'm just seeing how it goes for now. But I'm abit unsure how to tackle these outbursts. He can be rewlly stubborn but he also doesn't mean it. He's scared of loosing people and this is why he still keeps in touch with his ex. He carries huge amounts of guilt about how he affected her. Even though she did things too.
I know this reads like I'm trying to fix him. I just love him and 99 percent of the time he's loving. Thoughtful. Planning stuff with me and happy. He is very determined to keep going.
Just wanted some experience on how he is possibly feeling when he has these outbursts. I hate them and hope that with time they get less.