I’m in a really bad place right now. I’ve been stuck in a mentally abusive relationship for 10+ years. He’s eroded all my confidence and constantly gaslights me. He turns everything around to be my fault, I can’t do anything right. What’s even more confusing is that we can be fine for weeks, months even and then he will just turn. We have a son who loves his Dad very much but he resents having to do anything for him. I don’t drive and my son has after school activities so this has become a major point of contention.
I know I should leave him but I don’t know how I would cope financially and I’m scared of being on my own. I don’t have much family or friends. No one else sees or understands the situation. I know that he would make my life a living hell if I left. Sometimes I think it would be so much easier if I just killed myself, but I can’t do that to my son. I’m already on medication for depression/anxiety and I’ve started drinking in the evenings just to cope. I don’t know how to get out of this.