I've been on SSRIs for most of my adult life. The problem is, the effects never last for long and I relapse. I've relapsed lately, but the depression is absolutely terrible now. I don't know if being older isn't helping, but I'm really struggling and can't cope with this being my life now forever.
I have aspergers, adhd and cptsd from severe abuse and trauma in the past. All I can think about is the past. I have flashbacks, bad dreams, persistent thoughts etc. I'm so angry and bitter about what's happened to me over the years. My dh expects me to behave as usual and doesn't care that anger and irritability is due to my depression. He even told me to have my cats put down if I was planning to off myself to ensure he didn't have to look after them. I'm not going to do anything, but I have literally no one to talk to and no meds that are helping me.
I was supposed to see some mental health people the other month, but I cancelled the appointment after some horrible, abrupt woman called demanding to know why I wanted help. She was awful and I just shut down and couldn't face attending. Should I go back? I need to see a psychiatrist I think.