Hi everyone this is the first time I've said this because I feel embarrassed by it and like no one will understand me and I'm so sorry if it turns into a long post. I'm not a big talker I prefer to keep my feelings I'm which I know is bad but anyway...a couple of years ago after I had dd I started to feel abit rubbish about myself as in ugly! Growing up I was always shy and found it hard to make friends and as everyone was experimenting with make up ect I wasn't. When I hit 15 I completely changed my body changed and finally i had a group of friends and was happy in myself. I felt comfortable in my body. I had my first baby and yes my body changed but I was OK with it but after my dd I hated myself my body changed (which at times I'm OK with) even my face changed my teeth moved back to how they were years ago (before I had braces) and I didn't look or feel myself. Some days I think I've got 2 children and my body has been through alot too. I've suffered miscarriages and had operations ect and I'm happy with body then I look at my face! Got to a point I hated looking in the mirror. Or I'd think I look OK until I smile. I changed the way I smile, I hate photos taken. I can't afford treatment. I sit there some nights flicking my tongue around my teeth and just suddenly feel sick and depressed about it.
I've also started to feel useless at most things I've passed my driving test but can't drive because I hate it, I did a college course years ago and never took it up as a job because I couldn't work the hours with dc. I worry about everything. My thing is I don't really want to see anyone about I want to try and do this myself somehow so my question is of tou ever felt this way and dealt with it alone how do you do it? Is it possible? I just want to not care what people think anymore and just get on with life and be happy with me and how I am. I had pnd 15 years ago and did see a counsellor but it didn't help and I stopped the depressants and started to deal with it useless but now I'm not sure if I can. I like to see myself as a strong person but think I'm just kidding myself.