Why is grief so lonely

[CrazyMama10]

It’s almost 2 years since my brother tragically and suddenly passed. It was horrific the way he passed away and incredibly traumatic. My nanna passed 8 weeks after. I was half way through my pregnancy.

I’m haven’t grieved for my brother but just started counselling today which I feel very positive about.
I’m also on medication for depression and anxiety.

Lately I’ve been struggling badly as other various things have happened. My family are incredible. My husband was but lately he’s not been so supportive. He’s been out a lot, taken Coke again and made so many promises to change. He said he wouldn’t go on a 3 day stag do this weekend to avoid temptation of drugs, support me and our marriage. He’s going, he made that choice and I did not influence that choice as it would have come back to bite me on my arse.

Our 18 month old no longer sleeps. I’m exhausted. He will only settle for me. I haven’t slept a full night in weeks.

I feel so alone, vulnerable and exhausted. I have no energy and having dark thoughts. My husband knows this. The grief and depression is controlling my life.

I am so very sorry for the loss of your brother and nan

You are certainly having to deal with a huge amount atm, I'm not surprised you're struggling so. You feel vulnerable because you are.

It sounds as if you're getting great support from most of your family and your gp, but I'm concerned about how you're feeling in your relationship at the moment.

Do you feel able to ask your dh to help out more?

You must be feeling deeply hurt and betrayed by his latest choices and I wonder how respected you feel in your relationship?

Your relationship aside, getting enough sleep is clearly the first priority right now and no one is going to sympathise more than all the mums here! It's hell, but it will get better.

I hope others shortly with advice and tips for managing your sons sleep- I'm sure they will.

The depression is temporary. Grief stays with you but over time it becomes less acute and you'll learn to live with it. Let it wash over you when it comes because it helps you to heal.

Do you have family members who you're close to who you can go and stay with for a few days? I wonder if a few days being properly looked after will help.