What is wrong with me? sorry it could be long! :(

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Not sure if this in the correct post, so if its wrong then I am sorry.

1. I am very paranoid (thinking most of the time I am in the wrong, I am going to get the sack from work, have a few medical probs at the moment and I am so worried that they do not believe me! etc

1. Dislike being a mum, normally love that job, but at the moment hate it, find all work towards DC a chore - big time, and if DH doesn't do something as simple as hear DC read over weekend, then its not him I have a go at but DC! Oh and I seem to be ranting and raving at them for just being DC, and they are walking(creeping around on tiptoes)

1. Seem to be in tears very often, especially over simple things.

1. Really cross/frustrated with DH after tea last night - we (me and him) had pizza for tea, I asked if we had any garlic bread, he said no, so I accepted that. Tonight as I was looking through our 2nd fridge(its a bit of an over spill fridge) found garlic bread! DH then admitted we did have GB but it was for the DC on Thursday! So what is the difference between me and DC - I am so jealous of DC

1. Feel very tearful on way to work, think someone only has to say BOO in the wrong place and I will be in floods of tears. Once there seem to be ok, its just getting there.

1. Crying myself to sleep.

1. Not sure who to talk too.

I have had depression before, approx 8 yrs ago, and I have to say this does not follow the same pattern. Before I didn't have the energy to wash, dress, think, look after DC, cook, choose clothes to wear etc. In fact in the end I was hospitalized for a good few months. This time it seems different, I am still functioning, I am able to function on a day to day basis, I am still able to get up in the morning and put on clean clothes, wash my hair, etc

So I don't think this is depression, but I am not sure what it is!

Does anyone else ever feel like this? If so what do you do to get over it? Who do you talk to?

DH does not talk, I have to work it out whats up with him and when I have realised what the problem is and confront him then he will talk1

blardy man thing, they wanna save their brain cells and use ours instead

yes i am on AD's, it's sertraline because i had them when DD was 10 days old and i was bf-ing. apparently I still have pnd and am not brave enough yet (!after 2 years) to decrease or swap any meds. It has taken forever to get anywhere with this. like you say, with three kids you just can't go and hide or stop the world and get off, no matter how crap you feel. and i agree with what you said earlier, it is really hard knowing what you are putting them through and feeling like a sub-standard mum, but someone who gave me a lot of support -and still does, pointed out that your children love you no matter what.
if you could get something - either counselling, AD or both, it might just get you a bit of 'clearing' in the fog you are in at the moment, so you can figure stuff out for yourself. what have you done when you have felt depressed before?

I did have counselling and physcotheraphy (sp) The woman was crap at the physchotheraphy and I learnt nothing about me! With the counselling (it was a different person), I have to say I was doing really well and then said something really stupid to her as she was talking of stopping the sessions and I panicked and said something that was completely whacky and before I knew it, I was out the room and my sessions had stopped. (cant belief I said something so stupid!) - at least I learnt my lesson!

This was all done about 6 yrs ago.

What dose of sertraline are you on? I am also on this medication because I have a phobia. I have been on this tablet for about a yr, over the last few mths because my phobia was getting quite intense GP upped it to 200mg.

It sounds a bit odd I know but although I am on Sertraline its not for depression so I dont think of it in that way. When I had depression last time I was on Venlafaxine, and that tooks months to get off. I so definately do not want to take Venlafaxine again!

would it be worth giving the counselling thing another go? things have changed in the last few years, GP's have a lot more direct access to get patients seen locally - and assessed quickly.
ironically i trained as a counsellor several years ago but more's the pity you can't do it on yourself.
the stuff you are describing sounds like some sort of depression / anxiety, but it is definitely worth making yourself a list of everything to take to the GP as you can get depressed really quickly if you are feeling under the weather for another reason, including the good old hormones and all sorts of stuff.

i'm in demand by a shouting small person (DS2) who has just appeared on the stairs and daddy doesn't seem to be 'good enough' for him. Keep posting - i'll be back.
oh yes, and try and get some more zzzzz's tonight. bore yourself or whatever it takes.
see you later

p.s. sertraline 100mg. just about does the job.

Well I went to the GPs and he listened to me in between my tears! He was so sweet.

He wants to keep me on the sertraline as that seems to be keeping my phobia on a even keel. But he would like me to start taking Respiradone (sp) He only written me up with a small dose and he is hoping that should settle me down. He is also wants to see me in 3 wks time. I am just so fed up with taking pills at the mo.

So lets see what will happen - apparently rispiradone should help me get to sleep, and boy could I do with that! Last night I eventually fell asleep only to be disturbed at 3.30 am by the landline ringing! It then stopped me sleeping as I was then left wondering who was ringing - no telephone number was left. At first I thought it was an emergency so checked to see if anyone left a message - but no! Trouble was I couldn't get to sleep after that! So I am so tired now!