Issue with my therapist

[mh123kl]

I'm in therapy and have been with the same therapist for a year and a half. I don't know what is going on for sure but I have an idea because things aren't going well. She seems to be setting me up to 'tell me off' and I find myself losing it with her and I'm not sure how to rectify the situation or if I should.

She keeps asking me to be more specific. I've just come out of a psych ward suffering from psychosis which I'm still suffering from and threes problems have happened since my psychosis as I'm more irritable and easily angered as I'm not well.

This is how it goes:

How are you feeling?
I feel overwhelmed and really vulerable right now. I'm raeally irritable and don' t have much patience.
Can you be more specific?
No, that's how I feel, I don't know how to make it more specific.
Can you explain how you feel?

I then lose it with her as i have just explained how I feel and it's beginning to feel like a test.

when I demonstrated once with hand movements she told me not to talk to her like a child. She keeps pushing me and asking stupid bloody questions. I have no patience for it right now but i feel as though she's doing it so she can have a go at me .Perhaps the therapy is at an end and she wants me to stop coming.

Hi op

Sorry to hear you are feeling such a huge range of worries and feelings right now

Without being in the room and hearing what was said it's hard to pick apart as you can imagine

Them asking you to be more specific is a genuine question, but they need to be more specific their meaning.

You have given them a huge amount of info which is incredibly useful, but they asked what I would call a closed question, when an open one might have been more helpful?

I feel vulnerable, reflected back to you as ..vulnerable? Allows you to expand if you can on the vulnerability. If you can't answer then maybe coming here? Or in general.

Easily irritated, reflect back irritated? Yes I'm easily angered with everything and I don't understand why.
Question how does this feel, is it a feeling or a thought or an action ?
Is there anything that doesn't cause this reaction.

I may not be explaining this very well, but it seems you are highly irritated by the therapist which is normal and natural at times, and can be explored without confrontation and calmly .

Also because of your recent event, is the therapist still qualified enough to have further sessions with you ?

I am really trying hard to work with her but she doesn't seem to realise what 'little patience' means as she keeps pushing me. I don't want to be challenged or pushed or to have tests in synonyms. It's hard enough gathering my thoughts and making coherent sentences right now and I'm on strong medication that I've only just started and am feeling utterly overwhelmed with everything. I just can't play games right now.

Vulnerable means vulnerable, If someone said to me I'm feeling vulnerable right now, I wouldn't say can you be more specific? I'm accept it and try to be gentle with them.

I'm not sure she is the right person to speak to right now. I'm also with the home treatment team who are a lot better as they are just kind and gentle. They just accept what I'm saying, listen to me and make gentle suggestions. Maybe I should stop seeing her for a while but that would leave me without therapy.

You are explaining it well but it's still too much. I'm finding myself irritated at your questions as I have no patience right now.

She sounds a bit lame
Sounds like you are articulating clearly. Perhaps she means for you to give examples of what makes you feel xyz?

@IdblowJonSnow

She sounds a bit lame Sounds like you are articulating clearly. Perhaps she means for you to give examples of what makes you feel xyz?

You made me laugh, so thanks. I'm dropping things all the time, just dropped water all over my face as I tried to drink. I just dropped strawberries as I was getting something out of the fridge. I'm on edge and can barely articulate how I feel beyond what I've said.

She is treating me like the person I was before psychosis but I am in the middle of a psychotic break - the medication isn't really working and I'm still hearing things. I'm not as bad as I was but I'm still no where near better and she's actually shouted at me a couple of times. So much so that I said I was leaving as I didn't need to be spoken to like that.

I'm currently being 'difficult' but I'm suffering psychosis so I'm going to be difficult for a while. She doesn't seem to get it.

My psych does this to me too but he at least does it in good humour and fully expects me not to be able to respond properly and, at times, do any more than just shrug. Your therapist doesn't sound great.

@mynameiscalypso

My psych does this to me too but he at least does it in good humour and fully expects me not to be able to respond properly and, at times, do any more than just shrug. Your therapist doesn't sound great.

I find it very irritating at the best of times. I find it irritating when I'm not suffering from hearing voices and am at the end of my tether with it.

I ran away as I could hear my neighbour threatening to kill me. I ended up in homeless hostels for four days. I thought I had a psychic connection with my neighbours who were all threatening to kill me and calling me names. I thought they were reading my thoughts and on my laptop and phone so I threw away my laptop.

She asks me at our first therapy session after that: Were you frightened?

I lost it with her. Of course I was frightened. I have just explained to you that I was running for my life and had nowhere to go. I'd had barely any sleep in four days and said why are you asking such stupid questions.

It's kind of been like that...

It's ok to ask of your were frightened, you might have been angry not frightened.

Why did she shout at you?

Sorry you're feeling so rubbish at the moment

Do you have to see them every week or can you give it rest until you feel able to engage again op?

It sounds like you aren't ready for therapy and strangely considering its NHS (and waiting times are awful etc) I'm surprised they've given you therapy so soon after being an inpatient.

Odd isn't it? When people don't bother to read the thread properly, they get all confused...strange.

Private therapy. Been seeing my therapist for a year and a half. Not NHS.

@Guiltypleasures001

Do you have to see them every week or can you give it rest until you feel able to engage again op?

I don't know if my therapy has just come to a natural end. I get the feeling this is a dynamic at work drawing it to a natural conclusion. Maybe our time is over. I'll see her next week and try to talk about it and see where it goes. I had a long chat with the home care team and feel a little better.

I think asking if you were frightened is a fair question. You might not have been. You might have been confused, angry, hurt.

There's a lot of information missing here. On the first impression, your therapist sounds crap and my first thought is to move to a new one. That said, her job is to question where your feeling come from and challenge you. God knows I don't like it when my therapist is challenging my thinking and pushing me harder but that is what I pay him for. To tell me what I don't want to hear and state the bloody obvious that I am determinedly ignoring. Without him pushing me, I won't move forward.

What do you mean when you say you lost it with her? Because if you start shouting and behaving in a threatening manner towards her, I'm really not surprised she's telling you off. I've lashed out verbally at my therapist plenty of times but I wouldn't expect him to put up with being shouted at.

Do you give her examples? Like when you said vulnerable and she asked you to be more specific; do you mean emotionally vulnerable or physically vulnerable?

It sounds to me like there is a lot of transference and counter-transferance in play here and you may need to switch therapists. You are clearly getting to the point where she is pissing you off just looking at her and you won't get any real work done like this. If this is something that you get with everyone then you may not be ready for therapy at the moment. That's OK. It's fine to take a break from it and just get your emotions under control.

Sometimes I do. I'm in therapy because of childhood sexual abuse but sometimes I just can't handle talking about it. I just want to scream leave me the fuck alone every time he asks me a perfectly reasonable question. So we leave it that week and we talk about something else. Like whether my nephew has autism or why my sister is only attracted to dickheads. Then we come back to it when I'm in a better position to not be completely overwhelmed by it.

Find someone else and if you need a lighter session occasionally, don't force yourself to confront your problems. You're refusing to engage and lashing out for a reason, if your mind isn't ready, it's not ready.

You're not in a good place OP but try to think about other people when you are getting irritated. Hard I know.