15YO DS feeling ‘sad’

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He asked me to go for a walk this evening and told me he can’t see the point in anything. Says he’s been feeling this way since the first lockdown last year and tried to tell me then. He says he does think about taking his own life. I just don’t know what to do to help him.

I have had episodes of anxiety over the last 25 years, the first one quite extreme but have never felt suicidal. I’m at a loss how to help him. My first thought is get him a counsellor and am willing to pay as my faith in what the NHS would be able to provide is low.

Any advice would be much appreciated

I'm sorry that your ds is feeling that way.
Two of my teens have been through the same over the years.

Reassure him that it's ok to feel like this, that lockdown has been hard for lots of people in lots of different ways.

Ask him very openly if he has a plan for suicide. His answer will depend on the urgency of getting him help.

The gp should be able to see him. School might be helpful and get him immediate access to counselling. Where I live, there is an emotional well-being service that you can self refer to.

If he is actively suicidal, then you can go to a&e.

In the longer term, he needs to find his 'thing'. My ds would come out walking with me every night. We would chat about nothing, and look at what was around us, talk about films, tv etc...nothing pressured. My DD didn't want to talk to us and used her friends, music, Netflix etc to manage her feelings.

It can be really tough on you. Make sure you have someone to share the load with too. I hope he's feeling better soon x

I really don’t think he’s actively thinking about suicide.

I’ve had a look at my local mind website and that has a youth section where you can access counselling.

Thanks for your thoughts x

So we went to the dr about something else today and I had the opportunity to mention his mood. He had time to talk to the person on his own and we have a face to face follow up in about 10 days, and someone is going to call me next Wednesday. He has been thinking about how he would do it apparently, but thinking of me and his dad has stopped him.

I would like to get him some therapy so hopefully that will be possible.

If you are on fb then find the group 'parenting mental health'. My 14 year old DD has had similar issues for 2 years and I only found the group a few months ago after seeing someone recommend it on here. Brilliant and invaluable advice.

I’ve done a request to join. Thanks