I feel so overwhelmed.

[user1488481370]

I’m a mum to 3 and a step mum to 1. DC’s are aged 11, 8, 2 and almost 10 months.

I’m really struggling with health anxiety. I’ve had this since my 2 year old was born on and off. I’m convinced I’m dying, terrified of cancer, strokes and heart attacks. I found a lump in my abdomen just after my youngest daughter was born. I was assured that it was a hernia but I can’t stop thinking about it and worrying that it’s cancer.

I’m so overwhelmed by the simplest of tasks - cooking for everyone and trying to do appropriate meals for the baby/toddler/everyone else just blows my mind and often I will stand there for 10 minutes trying to work out what the hell to do.

I absolutely can’t keep on top of the housework/washing/washing up. I have no excuse as a SAHM but I just don’t now where to start and everytime I do start someone starts crying or needs feeding so I stop and start constantly all day long but get no where and it gets worse and worse until I just switch off and leave it. Everything gets so dirty/untidy so quickly and it takes an age to do even one task. I feel like everyone else’s manages so much better than I do. If the social services saw the state of my house some days I’m sure they’d take my children off me.

I’ve tried CBT for my anxiety and depression as I didn’t want to take meds but didn’t have much success with it although I really wanted it to work. I’m just really, really struggling right now. I don’t have a lot of support. I’m struggling with my youngest as she’s been going through an awful phase of crying almost constantly for a couple of months now. Pretty sure it’s teething but I don’t have a particularly good bond with her and I’m really starting to resent her. She was awake and crying until 4am this morning and I just wanted to drive her somewhere, dump her and drive off. And I honestly couldn’t care less about feeling that way. I’m so done with it all.

Hi op. I'm sorry you're going through all this. I really recommend talking to your partner about how you're feeling and how you need to see a therapist to really get to the center of your problems. A lot of what you're going through is definitely emotional stress and possibly depression. You don't have time for yourself to just relax and get away from it all. Your husband needs to help you with them once he gets home so you can just have an hour to yourself. As far as keeping the kids distracted, give the teething baby frozen yogurt or fruit in a teetherpop. It'll help soothe the baby while distracting it. Pop on a movie and tell your 10 year old to be in charge for a couple minutes and to come get you only if someone is dying lol they can handle it. As far as getting things done around the house, breather and take it one thing at a time... okay dishes first... okay im done with dishes.. what next, wipe down the table and counters... okay done with that.. sweep next. And so on. One thing at a time, one day at a time. If you feel yourself getting overwhelmed take a seat and close your eyes. Take 10 deep breaths. And think of nothing.. this always helps me focus and clear my mind.

4 children to look after is a lot! The two oldest should be in school now so that gives you some time and a little respite. Set a list of small tasks you can do around your youngest kids that is actually achievable. Iron 6 things a day. Set a time to sort uniforms for the week. Plan school lunches etc and get the ingredients delivered or the lunches ordered. I survived by planning a task per hour ie washing on at 8am and then peg out 9am, vacuum 9am and the relax, clean windows at 10 am and then relax, wipe benches/do dishes 11am then relax, lunches 12pm and then tidy away by 2pm. Do as much as you can online. Grocery deliveries are worth their weight in gold if you are time bound. And only a few £ each month. And set homework times as that’s a job in itself. The older kids can help clearing the table at meal times as well as doing some childcare whilst you are watching. As your 2 yo grows up they will learn from your older child. It’s tough but you will get into a good routine. Good luck!x