Name changed as don't want this post linked to my user name.
Feeling so fed up and down at the moment. DD1 has just started school I lost my job to covid last year and set up a small business.
I usually work 3 days a week but has been very on and off as DD1 and DD2 have been ill on and off for months with various bugs.
I feel like I'm just failing all the time.
The business is making a bit of cash but nothing amazing.
Neither of my children have slept and I get about 4 hours sleep a night at best. I look constantly haggard and old and dowdy.
DH is lovely and has a good job but he works a lot and 99% of childcare is up to me. He's really supportive and such a kind person, I really fancy him but feel like I'm just such a let down. I made such an effort when we got together, had a decent job and now just feel like I'm letting everyone down all the time not contributing much financially just makes me feel so shit.
I think now DD1 is starting school I've just lost purpose. DD2 is still at home with me I just feel like I've lost it.
I've volunteered to join the pta and volunteer in the classroom. I do lots of stuff with both my DD's and they are both doing well.
I don't know why I just feel so down all the time and just like I'm not contributing to DH. He's not said anything like this and has been nothing but supportive.
I've thought about going back to a job but I feel like I've lost all my confidence have been at home for 2 years as was off on maternity leave
And then furloughed. I feel like I would just have no idea what I was doing going back to an office job.
I sound like I'm just whinging because there's nothing actually wrong but I just feel like such a failure all the time. I feel like I'm on the verge of a midlife crisis. Has anyone else felt like this?