I want to go part time for my mental health....

[missbunnyrabbit]

I've been considering this for about 9 months now. This post is quite hard to write, but I wonder what others would do.

I'm a primary teacher. I've always struggled with depression and anxiety. I'm going into my third year, although I have worked with kids for 8 years now.

My depression is at its worst ever. I see little point in living, don't enjoy much at all, not even the little things I used to, like hot baths and nice food. At best, I feel meh. At worst, I feel this pressure, this black cloud of awful pointlessness, literally pressing against my skull and on my shoulders. I find it very hard to discuss this because I feel no words can convey how bad I often feel. It feels pathetic, weak, attention-seeking.

I take antidepressants. I've tried a few types but they all make me so tired.

I do enjoy my job, but what I am really struggling with is how relentless and exhausting it is. Every day I just collapse after it, often go to bed for a few hours. That's if I'm not booked onto an after school course! Then I have 1-2 hours of prep for the next day staring at me. I don't have the energy or time to do the little hobbies or projects I used to before I qualified. I have no time or energy to work on myself and my depression. And on this goes for 5 days, until I finally get to the weekend. If I'm lucky, I'll see my boyfriend, who I love, but it also means that I have no time for me. Then Sunday comes and I have a few hours of work to do.

I think I sound pathetic because I have no kids, I'm only 26, and I'm only two years in. I just feel like I'm trapped in this cycle of nothing but work.

I really feel that if I went down to 3 days a week, I would have the best shot of working on my mental health and discovering life again. At the moment, I just exist. School saps me with its demands and workload. My work life balance would be so much better, I could enjoy my job without it being quite so relentless, and also have time to find myself again.

The only thing is...I've only been at the school two years. Both of those were temporary contracts. Earlier this year I was offered a full time, permanent contract. I adore the school and most people I work with. I'd be heartbroken to leave. I think they will be so mad at me if I ask to go part time for September 2022. They have given me this job, this opportunity, and are relying on me. I don't want to let them down. They will think I've used them, and taking the piss. School hasn't had a permanent, solid staff team in years. I feel mortified about asking and ruining their plans.

But it's killing me. The thought of doing another full year after this makes me feel sick.

What would you do? Would you ask now for Sep 2022, or would you wait a few more years?

I personally feel something has gone very wrong regarding the school system.
I have yet to meet a teacher who enjoys their job, (this is not criticising teachers,) but over the years l have come into contact with a lot of different teachers and they have all openly admitted they hate their job, the demands of their job.
I noticed a lot of my sons teachers were off sick alot, and school anxiety in children has gone through the roof.
It sounds a very toxic environment.
If l were you l would definitely think about not just cutting down, but changing career. life is too short and you need to prioritise your health.

I'm a perfectionist

This jumped out at me. Things rarely are perfect; spending say an extra half hour on something trying to make it perfect, when 'good enough' is ok, isn't the best use of your time or energy. An energised, refreshed teacher is much better than a perfect lesson plan or resource. Definitely ask your more experienced friend for advice about how not to be a perfectionist!

I'm secondary and part time. Initially for kids now also for mental health. I don't think teaching is a job that's good for mental health. Loads of my dept are now part time. Most of the full timers struggle

OP I did this in my early thirties, just before I had children. I was the best idea ever. I still earned enough to live, but I didn't feel like my whole life was ruled by work.

Juggling teaching and mental health is really tricky. In the end I gave up after I had my children. It was the right decision for me but I do miss the kids sometimes, they were the best bit of the job.

As a head teacher I would fully respect the decision to work part time (I work in a very small school and most staff are part time!) if I could make it work by recruiting someone else part time for next September I would, or if someone else wanted to work part time to make job share then that’s great. Ultimately you need the SLT to support your decision to make it work. Have you considered 4 days or seeing if a PPA cover role might help?

I teach- love teaching but am feeling increasing overwhelmed by all the ‘stuff’ that comes with it. I burnt out a few years ago and went back part time which is definitely more manageable. I still find it stressful and work at home - but I can manage. Please look to change your hours as soon as you can- it will I’m sure make a positive difference to your mental health. Take care of yourself

I'm not a teacher but used to be a school governor and Chair of the Personnel Committee.

I would absolutely support a valued staff member to go p/t if it meant retaining them. The school I was involved in had several P/T teachers and it worked well. If you go down to 3 days and give the school plenty of notice, they should be able to recruit a p/t teacher to the other 2 days. There are lots of teachers who take time out when their children are small and then go back p/t.

Please try to have an open conversation with your HT who hopefully will support you. I would give as much notice as possible do they have time to think about it and plan ahead. If they say no, appeal. And if it's still a no, look for a p/t role in another school.

Good luck.

[quote missbunnyrabbit]@Dippydinosaurus, I have considered a union but people have told me they are unhelpful...
Would you mind telling me, did you just give the letter to SLT or did you request a meeting with them also? I feel like I really need to explain the situation with my mental health, even though I hate talking about it.

Maybe I will post on the Staffroom and see if there is any more advice.[/quote]
I was on mat leave so didn't have a meeting just emailed my letter as a formal request. I did mention before I went on maternity that I'd like to apply for part time when I returned. Other people have requested it and been turned down as there wasn't anyone to job share with (not sure they can do this though as they could technically recruit another part timer) so I was lucky. My colleague did talk to SLT about their mental health and was offered a part time role so hopefully you have a nice SLT. You could always check with acas for help too if you don't want to join a union. Please join a union though!

Would you be better off to see your gp and get signed off for a while. You would be on full pay and give yourself a proper break and change to recover you could then look at a manged return??

Please join a Union. They are your backing for any allegations etc that I've seen happen to many of my colleagues.