Extreme health anxiety

[Iilly2343]

Hi everyone

I am really struggling at the moment and just need some advice and to get this all out. I have had health anxiety ever since I can remember, I am 31 now and have memories of getting my mum to take me to the doctors all the time as I felt I was having a heart attack at around 10 years old.

I remember being a teenager and obsessing over pregnancy even when I’d used a condom and doing countless pregnancy tests..

I’ve obsessed over many illnesses my main one being HIV, but have had early menopause, MS , and many others.

I went through a very stressful period back when I was 23 and my health anxiety manifested with mental health conditions particularly schizophrenia, I googled it day in day out convinced myself I had it and even had an assessment for it and was basically laughed out the door. I had CBT and got over this or so I thought..

It’s now back and it’s even worse, I can barely function I haven’t been eating I’ve lost half a stone in a week I’ve been signed off work and I am convincing myself I am hearing things etc.. even writing this I feel embarrassed as I know I don’t have it if I did I wouldn’t be writing on this forum but I am terrified. I try to stay off google and can manage it for a day or so and then I’m back on it again reading stories.

Most ppl have health anxiety relating to physical illnesses only I haven’t seen many relating to mental health so wondering if anyone has this?

I even looked at seeing a top psychiatrist for an assessment and paying £600 which I know is ridiculous.

I am starting talking therapies on Tuesday again but this is effecting me so badly. Everyone around me is getting frustrated with me because I know it sounds so silly but I am really struggling with this.

Hi OP.

You might find useful - it explains in great detail what happens in your body when you are frightened or stressed.

Also, when you have a terrifying thought, stop and write it down rather than letting it swirl around you head and take you into a downward spiral. Thoughts are not facts - they are simply random ideas that pop into your head. You can't control how they occur but you CAN control what you do with them.

A thought record can help you put your thoughts "on trial" to decide whether they are true or false. It's time consuming at first but it will help you to be more rational and reasoned in your thinking.

Finally you could check your cognitive distortions to see how your thinking style is skewed and how to tackle the negative thoughts before they derail you.

I recently sought help for my health anxiety and intrusive thoughts. What helped me was that you can control / choose to not think about the bad stuff if you rationalise things. Force yourself to talk yourself out of the horrible thoughts / feeling that somethings wrong. You have to break your minds habit of catastrophing and instead get it into a habit of thinking rationally. It’s hard and takes time and I found scary but it eventually helps

Hi, I suffer with health anxiety and mine is mainly
Based around breast cancer (I have no idea why). Today's sad news about Sarah Harding has really set my health anxiety off bad. I checked myself today and think I found something although I check a few days ago and there was nothing there. Anyone get the same? X

Hey I want to jump in and say your not alone, these last few years have been bloody awful. I have lost the person I used to be, my worst is skin rashes. They listerally make me scream.inside and they seem to follow me all the time,. Wether me breaks out or kids,. Kids being now lately with my dd whose 4, resulting in me keeping her off nursery til it clear and trying not to let her sweat and run around. It literally takes over my life and thoughts,. I'm currently doing CBT but only goes so far. I feel my kids are better off without me, and I have a real fear my dd will grow up like me. She has already started the I can't do this because I have spots 🥺

@Iilly2343 I'm the same iv recently paid 770 this year seeing different private dermatologist for a rash I'm dealing with on my legs that has stopped me working a d going out since April, between me and my daughter I'm honestly so done,. I left in July to never return I'm that low and People around me don't understand how it takes over your life 😞

@Danigirl1983 I feel your pain it is awful and nobody really understands. I have also paid to see private dermatologists before for other things I’ve honestly spent £1000s I’ve been for private HIV tests that cost £270 as I wanted a result there and then and the gum clinic can’t do that .. went for a private scan which was over £100 when I thought I had early menopause paid nearly £200 for a private full medical now mines manifesting in serious mental health conditions since my first post I saw the psychiatrist last week and paid £370 when I say out loud I think I have schizophrenia it’s honestly quite embarrassing as I know deep down ppl who do develop these illnesses don’t google them day in and day out. But it’s taking over my life tbh.

Your kids aren’t better off without you I don’t have kids yet but I fear what I’ll be like when I do it I don’t get this under control and tbh the psychiatrist said that to me as well. She prescribed me fluxotine I took it for 3 days and it made me feel awful and I don’t want to take it anymore

Health anxiety is a form of OCD I have now been told just the obsession part .. the googling is the compulsion part and I spend hours a day on google when having a flare

I totally know what you are going through

I totally understand the paying private. And it is extreme isn't it I'm about to for my daughter as well I rekon if hers doesnt clear up , I struggle to believe the doctors as well which is part my problem, they can tell me what it is possibly and I won't believe them due to them years ago telln me my tinnitus would go away and I still have it , have you tried CBT. I have one lesson left and it only helps so much,. No one understands and struggle to talk to them so I have turned here to the ones who knows, my life I call exist not living, iv been off work for weeks now and I don't want to go back. But I also would love to be back but only the old me,. I remember as a kid I was a bit of a hypochondriac. Used think I had all sorts,. That left until last 6 years it's all came back,. Not as extreme as yours but I understand fully,. I just hate the unknown 😭 and sometimes wish I didn't have kids due to the things they catch all the time, but at same time my daughter is my best friend and so loving ❣️

@Iilly2343 I don't think you have schizophrenia at all because I don't and I feel like you, it's OCD. It's an obession. I'm contemplating doing hypnotherapy sessions now x

@Danigirl1983 I struggle to belive them as well or I do for a few days and then it comes back or moves on to something else it’s really awful I usually have it relatively under control but now it’s back again and fixating on this bloody schizophrenia which deep down I know I don’t have and I’ve been told by 3 mental health professionals that I don’t and that I’m past the age on set for it etc but I still can’t shake it.

I was like that as a kid as well I remember always asking my mum to take me to a and e etc and always having chest pains. I’ve been to a and e so many times as well even has an ambulance out for chest pains 🙈

I had CBT years ago but clearly didn’t work that much cos it’s always been there lol but I’ve started it again now got my second session next week but tbh I think I need something more intense atm. Would you go on meds ?

I haven’t thought about hypontherapy but I will look into it

Just talking to you I can sense you don't have it,. Here's the thing hear me out with this. What's worst that has happen if you did have it? You would get that under control with meds, what makes you think you have it? Known conditions don't affect me the same as you. Mines is skin issues. Things that spread. Freaks me out soo bad. Takes over my life same as you and lately I'm tested big time,. I have tinitus so I struggle to take any meds due to side effects with it seriously last resort but I may need to 😞. I just want the old me back,. It's nice to talk to someone that understands too x

Hypochondria is difficult to treat op. It’s one of the more complex ones, the doctors know you’re a hypochondriac and you do seem to be getting help, there really isn’t much they can do.

centerforanxietydisorders.com/hypochondriac-signs/

@Danigirl1983 I think because I have OCD with intrusive thoughts which can be trrrible at times so I thought we’ll I’m obviously going mad and I attached myself to that condition constantly
Googling etc and then you start to kinda give yourself the symptoms lol . Not to discriminate against anyone but my HA usually attached to conditions with stigma such as HIV and now schizophrenia, also had it with other STDS aswell. It’s usually always about things that ppl stigmatise.

Trying telling myself that, if I have it I do and what can happen etc but isn’t always that easy but I know I don’t have it deep down.

What do you mean by skin conditions that spread? Like cold sores etc ? X

@Iilly2343. That's the thing. I was told to stop googling. That alone is hard,. Showing you the symptoms you definitely feel then or imagine them don't you it's really hard,. Yeh like any skin rashes which are my worst nightmare. Cold sores. Impetigo. List goes on. I'm that severe sometime especially now with what I'm dealing with for months, someone says me could be worse could be cancer. And my crazy reply is well at least I would know how to treat it 🥺. That's how bad I get too x

@Danigirl1983 google is my worst nightmare and health forums etc even spend time on mumsnet in the health forums it’s terrible I can spend hours on there.. I know I need to stop it as it sends me spiralling but it’s hard.

I thought I had a coldsore a few weeks ago which is what triggered off this episode. I’ve never had one before and I was waking up every hour to check it in the mirror pulling my car over to check it in the review mirror etc sending pics of it to ppl I know who have them asking what they thought. 🙈🙈 don’t think it was one as it went the very next day didn’t hurt or Anything was just a red patch of
Skin on my lip but it’s awful what health anxiety can do. Even wrote a post on here about the cold sore lol!

What is the skin condition you have ? X

I honestly could be your twin. I try not Google now. But I don't mind this kind of chat due to talking it through with someone that understands,. I rekon if you haven't had cold sore by now you won't get one usually through the teen-age years of kissing 🤣 I just hate them as mines mirrors impetigo and I always wonder and constantly check and then buy all sort to get rid of it. I actually use cream daily now to see if it wards it of , mines can trigger with stress. But they do. Go away in aroun 10 days, I used to send my sister pics to as she always gets them as even she said I'm not sure. And that made me worse. It really does spiral doesn't it. But fear not. We have chat here 🤣

@Iilly2343 feel free private chat me x

@Loo234 feel free private chat me x