Grown daughter doesn't want to live

[Juanna61]

How do I help her, I listen to ,she called the hotline, they were no help. Pls and thank you!

I need a better idea of whats been going on etc and approx

What hotline did she call?
Is she having suicidal thoughts or does she have a plan and intent to carry it out? If she is an immediate danger to herself you need to get her to A&E although they may not be that helpful at the moment.

You stay calm. Go into your best calm adult mode. You sit with her. Make tea for her whether she drinks it or not. You hug her. Sit with her. Stay with her. Your job is to be there with her. No judgment of what she's saying. Just calm, reassuring "this will pass", "I will sort this out with you when you're ready", "there's nothing you can tell me that I can't deal with".

You get yourself support ASAP from a friend or family so you have someone to weep and wail on yourself. It's like a chain - you hold her up, someone will hold you up and so on

Tomorrow you look at counselling options, find three possible ones, let her chose one. You make a GP appointment for her.

In a crisis you make her call the Samaritans

Good luck.

my grown daughter is staying wiht me right now so she can work, it is a new job, she had an abortion, and wouldnt listen to me to not do it, so her brother said to say you would love her no matter what, which is true, but i didnt want her to do it, she did anyway, now she is feeling the pain, and feels shes going to hell, i said just ask Jesus forgive you she dont believe, i hope i dont get bashed here, i am trying my best to help her and listen no judging.also she is faced with the vaccine to keep her job, she dont want to take it, we shouldnt be forced to do it to keep a job. thank you

what is a and e? i dont know the suicide hotline to call,

Be with her, let her know this will pass and she is young and has her life ahead of her. Don't guilt her, try not to panic, try to find other things to talk about - suicidal feelings are usually passing.

Once she gets over these acute feelings she should probably look into getting help for helping cope with her feelings about abortion and maybe other issues.

A&E means 'accident and emergency' ward at a hospital.

i contacted the hotline again ty

@Juanna61

what is a and e? i dont know the suicide hotline to call,

Are you in the UK?

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear your daughter is feeling this way.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.
We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.
We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly

ok thank you for making me aware of this

no in the usa

She doesn’t need Jesus’ forgiveness. What she needs is reassurance from you that you support her decision , that you agree that she made the right decision, that you understand that she is upset but that you love her and will continue to love her and help her.

i support her but i disagree with you

You might be better getting support from someone in the US as this is a UK site

If you’re in the states please take her to the Emergency room, her needs may be beyond your care and support and this needs assessing by medical staff

I have previously cared for young women in an acute psychiatric setting in a similar situation, please get her the help she needs

A and E is UK’s version of the ER. Which is where she needs to go if she becomes a danger to herself. She might need medical and professional help.

Your daughter needs your support and right now, she doesn’t need to hear reproaches, what ifs, what should’ve been…

Sit down and tell her (even if you don’t believe it) that she’ll be okay, she’s not going to hell, she’ll be fine and she has a mother and a brother who love her and are there for her.

Hug her, tell her you love her. Don’t tell her ‘I told you this would happen…’.
Reassure her you’re there for her.

What job does she have that is making the vaccine compulsory? Why is she against it, is there a medical reason why she can’t have it?

I’m off to bed now as it’s late where I live, but I’ll be praying for you and your daughter tonight. Keep checking in and letting us know how it all goes.

Thanks, I was going to say speak with the Samaritans but you like in the USA.
You believe in Jesus and your daughter does not. You did not want her to abort, she did. You love her and she loves you I guess as she is staying with you.
I strongly recommend you daughter speaks with her doctor or you do and alert them to this.
ATB