Trauma - what worked for you please ??

[nothingcanbesadder]

I have a diagnosis of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It stems from witnessing a very very close family member being murdered when I was an adolescent. It's compounded by abusive relationships I had afterwards.

I used to function, although I was never 'right'. I'm mid 30s now though and for some reason the past couple of years my symptoms have been much worse. It's like the trauma is 'louder' and keeps manifesting in the forefront.

I'm so frustrated - I am desperate for a 'normal' life, I want to enjoy time with my DC (I had them young so they are older now, it's not the stress of parenting little ones causing this). I want to work again - I currently cannot, I've tried and every time end up leaving as I just can't cope. I worry financially as I'm on UC. It's all I can do to do basic things like showering and minimal housework and DC stuff and I've had 2 major breakdowns where I couldn't even do that.

I just want some PEACE from the daily and sometimes hourly panic attacks, anxiety, flashbacks, physical anxiety, feeling like a zombie (dissociation??), withdrawing from people, brain fog, sinking feeling, insomnia, social anxiety. It's exhausting. I want a LIFE.

Can I ask anyone who has improved - what worked for you ??

I've tried numerous SSRIs and also Mirtazipine - they all had side effects that were almost as intolerable than the PTSD.

I've been in psychotherapy for 9 years and had CBT before that twice.

I don't have money for much, but I'd save up or ask for (limited) family help if something would help to 'fix' my brain.

Thanks

EMDR. Its amazing, however very very hard work. There was a thread on it recently.

Thanks @cpjoli Do you know how long it usually takes to help?? I'm not sure how long I could afford it privately, or if at all. I've asked my GP about it but they say the NHS wait list is 2 years. Another very close family member is waiting 2 years also on a waiting list.

Depends really @nothingcanbesadder . I've had one lot for one trauma that was 20 sessions. I've just restarted for another trauma and 7 sessions in. Some people say it only takes 4 or 5. I struggle to talk so it takes me weeks to get through one bit. It's worth going on the waiting list.
I bought a book called Getting past your past by Maxine Shapira which describes it and gives some ideas to help.

I've had emdr for therapy after extensive cbt and the emdr started to work after just a couple of sessions. It's very intense though. It's mentally very hard work.

EMDR helped me after my daughter’s traumatic death. I thought the flashbacks would come up every hour for the rest of my life, but they are much less frequent now.
Be warned though, EMDR is a very difficult therapy to go through. I hope you find something that helps.

Quetiapine and volunteering a couple of times a week for a few hours helped me.

Thanks everyone.

@Houserenoqueen I'm so sorry to hear about what happened to you.

@PigletTiggerEeyoreAndRoo That's interesting as I've heard about and considered Quetiapine, I also used to volunteer and I was thinking to try again as a stepping stone to working. Did you find the quetiapine to have any bad side effects?? SSRIs and mirtazipine for me caused massive unhealthy weight gain (even when trying to restrict food, same for my dad), and zero sex drive.

Emdr is fabulous...changed my life...the benefits outweigh the difficulties x100!

Narrative therapy, compassion focused therapy, DBT, talk therapy, all from a brilliant Psychologist. Also a lot of body work

8'm sorry you're having such a hard timeX I have been looking at threads as DH has bad mental health and now I am struggling to cope

He's just started EMDR as he also have c-ptsd he's only had a couple of sessions and it's very hard knocks him for 6 for a couple days and it's definitely making life abit tougher for us but I am hanging in there for it making a difference

Ask your dr get on the list and also ask family, I really had to push to get DH emdr after some really tough tough years this is our last chance saloon so praying it works

DD is currently having edmr therapy, she's had one session, which she found tough but she's already like a different person.
Her therapist has recommended approx 3 sessions.
I hope you find something that helps op and please keep talking on here

For me, it was long term psychotherapy with the “right” therapist. I’d had years of therapy prior, that didn’t help an awful lot
I know people say the relationship in therapy is key and this was a really good example of that
I’m still not where I want to be, but the debilitating flashbacks have diminished and are far less powerful

EMDR

Was going to say EMDR also. I had about 16 sessions but for a range of past issues. It was £50 a session.

I had the ‘flash’ version which I didn’t find as hard as anticipated. That could have been the nature of the trauma.

A family member had EMDR and it was life changing. Good luck

I’m just reading your thread op and it’s really moved me.
I am a counsellor and i don’t have any suggestions, it’s not my area, so I don't way to make any suggestions, but I just wanted to acknowledge that the relationship between yourself and your therapist is key to getting better.
Whatever modality you use.
I hope you can get better. 💐

EMDR can be transformative and there is also Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (there is a very readable book about this called The Happiness Trap, but the author does state that some of the exercises aren't advised to do on your own as self-help if you've a background of complex trauma or a very severely traumatising event).
The big problem with obtaining therapy on the NHS at the moment is going to be the long waiting lists in many areas