Gentle kind advice needed please

[Mumwithbaggage]

Hi, I've named changed. Been here on and off for many many years but my children know my regular user name.
Quick background info - I think I have ADHD (came about after a course I studied for work) and am frequently hugely overwhelmed by everyday stuff. Am hugely anxious. Relevant to this particular situation: when I was a student I shared a house with a dentist. After a party a dental student forced his way into my room in the morning and raped me in my bed.

Fast forward. My teeth are awful. So awful. I have a dental abscess and no dentist. Have been psyching myself up to do something. Would offload this to GP if I could actually go in but can't do it on skype. Am writing in my journal and talking to myself and crying to force myself to go to A and E. It doesn't hurt but my cheek is swollen and I need it sorting. I'm aware of what I need to do - just need a bit of support from strangers. DH doesn't get it at all. In some areas of my life everything is just so easy.

A terrible experience. I am so sorry you had to go through that

As practical advice I would try to take back control of this situation.

If you can afford it find a private dentist where you can ensure you pick a woman. Often they have payment plans.

Alternatively go to a Minor Injuries Walk In for an antibiotic prescription for the swelling and talk to somewhere there. They may be able to refer you to a female NHS dentist.

Exactly what @lemonSwan says above. Private dentists aren't too expensive and have payment plans for everything. Explain that you are very scared and need them to be gentle with you, you don't have to say why

Thanks, on my third go in the car park I eventually made my way into A and E. Saw the OOH GP (it was a bank holiday) and then had bloods taken and was referred to the loveliest Maxillo Facial lady. Problem was, I was utterly wired by then - BP went up to 217/130 and my heart rate was so high they gave me an ECG! I was eventually allowed home at 2.30am having gone in at 6pm (guess they were right to be concerned about me) and BP etc is now back to normal.
She gave me lots of good advice and was very understanding.

Shows what scary things stress can do to your body.

I do actually know a lovely private dentist (good friend of good friend) - would hate her to see the inside of my mouth but maybe I'm in a confident enough place to ask her for some advice.

Sometimes when you're in control of so many areas of your life, it's hard to know who to speak to. I might do better with a GP further away from home where I feel more anonymous.

@Mumwithbaggage I am glad you have been seen in A and E.

With regards to your GP, if you drop off a note in an envelope and state you would like to make a face-to-face appointment to make a disclosure I am sure they will arrange for someone to make a face-to-face appointment with you.

I am so sorry you had that experience; I had similar but with a doctor - I still regularly lose my shit with doctors now and very few people understand. Thankfully my GP now calls ahead to say there's been past trauma if she's referring me anywhere which is lovely.

I was pleased the hospital GP had passed it on - saved me repeating myself! Just need to build on this and take a couple more steps forward.

Seriously, I'm really very confident and outgoing in most areas of my life which is what makes it hard.