Post traumatic stress disorder

[thegooseisgettingfat]

Hi I'm struggling to find out about PTSD following childbirth. I have been diagnosed with this following a very bad birth year this year. I'm not ready to talk about the details. Well my counsellor says I have to stop saying "I can't". I have a beautiful healthy baby as a result of the birth so feel like I shouldn't complain but still really struggling to come to terms with it all. I avoid anyone who is pregnant and can't bear to be around new mums as everyone seems to want to out do each other on who had the worst birth and some people just don't know what a truly bad birth can be like - i now know that these are classic PTSD symptoms. I'm worried people will think its just PND when it isn't. Does it get better? Do people think I should have moved on by now? do people think I have no right to complain when we both survived? too many questions

I dont know where to start, I had a dreadful experience with my 1st dd. This was 7 years ago. It took 2 years to get diagnosed with PTSD. I ended up having CBT for it and though it was expensive and at times very hard it worked. I went on to have my next dd 4 years later and have since had a 3rd and now expecting a 4th. It does get better but i will never forget what happened and still avoid going into detail as its impossible to explain..

Yes you have every right to complain. Why should we accept survival of Mum and baby as good and anything else as a bonus?

Look for Lulumama here, she has had some great posts/ thread on PTSD. And she links to a great website ? www.birthtrauma.co.uk

My counsellor was also rubbish. She said she usually worked with couples with relationship problems and it really showed. We talked a lot about my anxiety issues, then on my fourth session she asked whether I thought I was depressed! No shit Sherlock.... And I think I had mild PTSD too, flashback nightmares, intrusive thoughts etc etc. but that was never discussed. So maybe change your counsellor??

The good news is, it can get better, though I'm not sure it ever goes away. I have just had my second baby with help of a doula.

Good luck. Am thinking of you (-:

Just be kind to yourself .. It will improve with the right support... Big hugs..

PS Also totally know what you mean by evereyone else talking about bad births and you thinking they don't know what they're talking about. It made me sick and still does.
And knowing that they will glaze over and stop listening long before you get through even half of the explanation about your birth.

Just before my second birth a friend advised me to "breathe through the crowning". Anything more totally unrelated to my previous experience of birth I can hardly think of. I had haemorraging, ventouse, forceps, sheer panic, doctors running, you know what I mean at the point of crowning first time and I still feel anger that she thought that would be helpful advice for me.

Thank you - sometimes you just feel that no one understands - every knows about PND and blames everything on that. I know this is different. It is early days with the counsellor so both still finding the way forward. After this I will not have another baby - was my 2nd anyway. I have been told I could go on and have another Ok but just not worth the risk. Some people have watched too much TV and think they know what happens in an emergency - I can spot the exagarated birth from hell stories a mile off as I now know what really happens when things are really critical. Yes I was lucky, we both were, It seems like PTSD is still very misunderstood and I do often feel that people think I'm dwelling on it rather than moving on and that other people face far worse situations (still births, baby dying early on etc)so I should just be thankful for what I have got - I am of course - but still seem unable to really deal with it all

I can sympathise with how you might be feeling. It sounds like you have had a really tough time.
On paper my childbirth experience was actually quite starightforward, unlike yours from what you are saying. However this did not stop me from suffering feeling similar to those you describe. I had constant flashbacks and dark moments after I had dd.
Like you I sought help from mn, and it was my saviour! You will always find support here.
In my case I was advised to ask for a debriefing with the midwife. This really helped me overcome the feelings of despair and guilt that I felt.
keep talking and good luck

Just going to bed , but wanted to just let you know I read yuor 1st post. I suffered very badly with PTSD about 3 yrs ago (& was intialy diagnosed with acute pnd at 1st) and have done several different treatments for it. Ive gone on to have a 2nd amazing birth and also a mini surgery and faired very well.

There are specific treatments for PTSD that will help you greatly and ease some of the symptoms quite quickly. Deep relaxation techniques are a good start and one of my therapist made me a tape for it to use at bedtime.

Id like to tell you more when Im able to. Night for now x.

Hi there,

Sorry if I'm butting in but I just wanted to say I'm so sorry you've had such a dreadful time and are still suffering. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

One thing you can do is to go back to your GP and ask to be referred to a psychologist who specialises in treating people with PTSD. Do bear in mind that this often means being referred into the care of a psychiatrist so you might want to discuss further with your GP.

Another thing that can be useful is to contact the Head of MIdwifery and/or the Consultant who were responsible for your care when you gave birth and ask for a debriefing session. This can be very helpful but also very painful so you might want to have had some counselling first - you know yourself best.

There are 2 good websites with further info, help and support from people with a true understanding of what you are going through.

www.sheilakitzinger.com/birthcrisis.htm
www.birthtraumaassociation.org.uk/

I found this website yesterday and it helps women with all perinatal illness including birth trauma. They have a message forum and a chat room where you can talk with women who are going through the same thing as you. I am not saying for one second that anyone can say they know how you feel but a lot of women find comfort in being with other women who've suffered in the same way.
www.pni-uk.com/index.html

Hugs,

Kath

Don't worry about "everyone else", concentrate on you. I had PTSD after DS2, because of what happened during my pg, I was scanned every week for first 4mo, then every fortnight til due date - told most times that i wouldn't have a baby at the end of it. He is now 4 years old and the thought of the whole thing still makes me go cold. It is quite different from PND which I unfortunately still have after DD, entirely different circumstances etc.
If you have had an awful experience then that is for you to judge and nobody else. People think their experiences are awful because they don't know the scale of it, and nobody can ever be in someone else's situation if they are honest and no matter how hard they try to imagine it. Give yourself time - and i mean loads of it, this is the best lesson i have learned. OK my dd is 2 tomorrow and i still have PND, but now i know i am getting better, but it has been a really long and hard road, which has only improved by me accepting that this is an illness and is going to take time to get better.
I don't think that you should feel the need to explain yourself to others, do what feels right for you. I also think that you should not focus on 'moving on' until you have done what you need to do with this experience, and when you really do feel ready you will know. There is no hurry.

hello - I also suffered with postnatal post traumatic stress disorder - it was after my 1st child and the symptoms are incredibly hard to live with yet so many people seemed never to have heard of it?!
The birth trauma association site states that 10,000 women per year in the UK alone are suffering with birth trauma - how scary is that?

www.mothersvoice.org.uk is a site that I have 'co-founded' with some other ex-sufferers, we support women wiht all perinatal illness and you would be so welcome there :0)
There is a very active message board and support via telephone also links to specialist counselling.

Thanks for all the website recommendations - I will look at those gradually as I still find it very upsetting to read anything connected with this. I did have a debrief after the birth which helped alot but still seems difficult to get to grips with it all. Its reassuring to know from these posts that this isn't going to go away soon and is going to take a fair old while. Hopefully one day when I'm asked "Mummy what was my birth like" I'll be able to talk about it openly and honestly. I agree with the fact that it does seem very misunderstood and unheard of yet equally just doesn't seem so rare once people open up. I'll get there one day!

My understanding of PTSD is that it arises when an experience is so shocking that it shakes your whole sense of self.

Hopefully your councillor can help you understand what happened and what it means so that you can live with the memories rather than try to deny them.

You may find 'Beyond Fear' by Dorothy Rowe a useful book.

Good luck.

I know were your at , everything feels to much with regards to the situation , and you can face it.

I initially started with hypnotherapy and that helped to stop a lot of the night terrors and panic attacks. I then went on to have another treatment which I found amazing and didnt mean I had to talk about it all in great length called EFT (emotional freedom technique). It was 1st used on soldiers with PTSD (were its most recognised as a condition) and now more and more on other tpyes of patients with it.

This is the main website for it EFT and you can find practitioner's associated to it all over the world. It sounds wacky but it really is very good. It has been amazing for me as I said in my post before , I was able to go onto another pregnancy(having had it with dd1) and deal really well with a surgery.

I really wish you well and hope that others dont have to suffer to long (as I did before treatment), with the side effects of it when you dont have to.

(*cant face it)