I can't do this anymore

[everysingleday]

I feel so exhausted trying to keep going. I just want it to end. I've been depressed for years but never like this. I just don't want to be here anymore. I just can't. I have a gp appt in 3 weeks. Couldn't get one earlier. Not sure how to get through the next 24 hours let alone 3 weeks. I'm scared.

Try to get through the next 30 mins rather than just see huge endless periods of time. Even getting through the next 5 mins is an achievement!
I have been at the stage where I am literally just making it through every 30 seconds as that is all my brain can cope with.
Sending hugs

Sorry that is such a long wait for an appointment. Can you ring 111? In my area they connect you to a specialist mental health support line. If you feel you can’t keep yourself safe, please dial 999 and get the care you need xxx

Thanks for replying

That sounds horrible, @everysingleday.

Does your GP offer same day appointments for urgent issues? Most do. I’d phone and ask for an urgent mental health appointment.

How to get through the next few hours… Do you have any responsibilities or can you cuddle up in a duvet and listen to something comforting for an hour or so? Everyone has different ways of getting through, but that’s my main one to calm distress.

And of course there’s helplines, although I know it can feel a bit grim to be endlessly signposted to them. I like the Blurt website : www.blurtitout.org/resources/

They have a page on getting through a crisis a s a whole list of helplines.

Keep talking on here though…

www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/

Supposed to be working from home - kids are with their Dad. I've been so unproductive lately though it just feels like a brick wall in front of me. The flat is a mess. No energy even to have a shower. I tried to phone the gp twice today but was on hold for hours so I made online appt. Ill look at that site. Thanks.

Would it help to call in sick to take the pressure off for a few days? If that is something you can feasibly do.

Are you working at the moment? People are quite negative about leaving work for your mental health but its saved me. Also break up the feeling of crises-i force myself to sleep or go to the woods where i have almost a kids den of sorts, dont care what people think it also does me wonders. Finally avoid coffee. Small but practical ways to feel better quickly

Sorry missed your latest post

www.7cups.com

I had a MH crisis during lockdown 1. I started on sertraline but it had a bad reaction until it settled down and I was that anxious I was just staring into space all day and crying. I rang 111 in desperation and they really helped me. Please try calling them. If you feel this low it's an emergency. Please take care xx

You can present at A&E for a mental health crisis. Please do that or call Samaritans. It will get better, just take that first step

You sound burnt out to be honest. Sometimes you just have to sit in that exhaustion feeling and do nothing. Even if you just turn the shower on and sit next to it and feel some warmth and let that feeling of exhaustion wash all over you. Try not to do too much and dont stress about the doctors cos you will feel worse, until you can do anything about that. Stay talking to people, or journal or whatever you can to get through. Hugs xxx

Thank you. It's a lonely road.

I agree it is lonely. Even though my oh tells me it's just anxiety I feel like no one gets it and it's only when I'm well that I realise. Please keep talking OP.

I will. Thanks.

Have you eaten or drank anything? If not do so, you must. Eating anything, even a mouthful of bread, releases feel good hormones!!! How are your finances, can you order yourself some sweet treats from Amazon, next day delivery? Depression is a horrible beast but you've overcome it before and you can do it again xxx

Hello @everysingleday how are you getting on?
Have you managed to have something to eat?
Hopefully you have snuggled down somewhere to get some sleep and thus well done for completing another day.
Will try and message you in the morning to see how you are doing.

blahtherapy.com

I'm in no way affiliated with this but someone recommended it to me. It may help if you're waiting a long time for a GP.

OP, I know how you feel now, feels like no one else in the world can possibly understand. But we do. You're not alone. This is the worst bit. Push through one task at a time.

Eat the food. Read the book. Do the thing you want to but always put off. Be entirely selfish for the day. Have a long soak. Find a mindless podcast. You feel like you're not achieving anything right now, but having a shower and something to eat is a success right now.

Let us know how you are xxx

I have eaten. Thank you. I had dinner with my cousin last night. Pretending everything is fine is exhausting though. I'll try the gp again today.

I hear you. Especially pretending everything is fine.

Offering a hand-hold .

Yes pretending zaps all the energy from you and you feel like you have none left. But you do. You do because something in you reached out to us. Something in you isn't giving up. See, you're s fighter inside, you just haven't recognised it. Have you read 'strong for too long', definitely worth it for when you're up to it. You've been strong for too long and need a rest, but that's all just a rest and you'll be back to your happy/contented/ok self eventually Xx