Not coping with eyesight problem

[IslandMagic]

Not sure what I want from this post but maybe someone can help. I have a problem with my eyes and I'm really distressed about it. This has been going on for several months and I've had to take time off work (I'm a teacher). There are treatment options available, but nothing has helped so far.

Because of this my mental health has suffered. I'm not in a good place at all. I have an appointment with a psychologist in a couple of weeks. I also have been prescribed some anti-depressants but I haven't taken them yet.

I'm supposed to be going back to work in ten days' time, but it's looking as if I won't be able to. I've hardly slept for the last three nights and this morning I'm in a state of panic. If I can't go back to work I don't know what I'll do. How do I cope with all of this?

That sounds really distressing @IslandMagic so its understandable to feel the way you do. Is there anyone you can talk to about this in real life so you dont have to go through this alone? 2 weeks is quite along wait for an appointment with a psychologist, i would seek out some sort of counselling before then even if thats just a phone call to a charity like samaritans or an eye charity perhaps? Talking to someone will help. Regarding your eye problem, im not sure what it is but I would try and take each day as it comes and not try to worry too far off into the future. You may be thinking worst case scenario which is making you unable to sleep. The worst case scenario may never happen and things might turn out better than you expected. If you can't go to work because of your health you'll just have to let them know and not worry about it- assuming your Dr will be able to sign you off. Also you may or may not be religious but I would pray every night to God or any higher power for the healing of your eyes. Prayer is a powerful thing and there are cures available for most things. Xx

Thank you Misty. I do have people to talk to in real life but I don't want to burden them too much. Talking does help but it's also painful - facing up to things I don't want to be happening. I'm most worried about my mental health. I wake up in the night with an awful feeling of doom and dread, and can't go back to sleep. Then in the day I'm sleep deprived, which makes it hard to think about things calmly.

Not sure what your eye condition is but the RNIB website is useful for lots of different eye conditions and has a section on Employment and work and counselling and support.

I can totally get why you are feeling like this.

If it's any help, I've been supported at work through a referral to Occupational Health.

No sure what eye problems you have but maybe a referral from your Employer might help?

Also agree with talking to a charity linked to your condition. If it's anything to do with your Macular then the Macular Society might be useful. You can call, email or write to them.

Facing up to vision loss isn't easy though is it?

My best friend has just gone through this. Her eyesight was more or less fine (just needed bog standard glasses), but the ophthalmologist noticed she had a degenerative condition that would almost certainly lead to blindness in the next 20 years. They recommended a routine, preventive surgery… after which she was in excruciating pain for 3 weeks (bad enough to be hospitalized overnight) and could only see things in a way that was misty and shadow-like for a solid 5 months. It was profoundly distressing, and she had several panic attacks and depressive episodes over those few months.

What ultimately helped her was finding a better ophthalmologist, who she really trusted (she went through 4 first, I think, and had to really advocate for herself). With that ophthalmologist, she created a list of the possible interventions that remained, in the order they would try them in. Something like: 1) different steroid drops, 2) a third different set of non-steroidal drops, 3) corrective glasses, 4) wait 6 more months to see if healing occurs naturally, 5) corrective contact lenses, 6) repeat of the original surgery, 7) attempt at a more experimental procedure.

Then we took that medical plan, and together traced out the non-medical elements of life she’d need to figure out. E.g., if she got to 3), another friend and I would help her fund the glasses which she couldn’t afford. If she got to 4), she would apply for medium-term disability benefits and workplace accommodations and start seeing a therapist; if she got to 5) she would sell her car since she couldn’t drive through any of this, and she would join a local support group for the partially sighted, etc.

Talking about these things was initially overwhelming, but once she had a list of future actions she could take actually written on paper, life felt a bit more under control.

Thankfully steps 3 & 4 combined worked, and she didn’t need to go through any additional surgery. 8 months later, she’s back in her regular job, able to drive (though not at night), and beginning to be able to put the nightmare behind her.

I don’t think anything could have prepared her for how terrified and powerless she felt during those months, but “planning for the worst” with friends and in therapy helped relieve some of the anxiety. Might be worth a try!

I’m so sorry you’re going through this!

What is the problem with your eyes op? I had visual disturbances caused by stress and thought I was losing my vision, which made my mental health worse. When the stressed stopped my vision became a lot better and normalised. not sure if you're suffering similarly but do be aware that stress can exacerbate eye issues and cause blurry eyesight even if your eyes are healthy so please try to keep your stress levels down (easier said than done I know). Maybe evaluate your health overall and stress levels and take small steps to improve them. Then you will at least feel like you're doing something positive and it may lift you a bit. Best of luck OP!

Also if it's macular disease they have a procedure that they hope will be a routine medical procedure in the next 10 years approx. Stem cell therapy which in testing has restored people's sight who had the condition. So don't lose faith if it is this. I am sure that they are testing it for other conditions too.

Thank you so much for all your messages.

@UpToMyElbowsInDiapers That sounds horrendous - your poor friend.
My problem is not nearly so serious - which is why I feel I should be able to cope with it better. It's a problem with my eye muscles which means I can't focus my eyes properly. I've been prescribed prism lenses but they don't seem to help at all, which is really frustrating. I can see ok but I feel disorientated and can't easily focus on things.

@muffindays Yes I think it is worsened by stress. If I could be calmer about it perhaps it would be better.

@DominicRaabsTravelAgent I've been referred to Occupational Health, which hopefully will help.

I really should give my head a wobble as people have much worse eye problems. It's just hard to see how I will be able to teach at all with my eyes like this. It's hard at the best of times!

I really should give my head a wobble as people have much worse eye problems.

It doesn't matter what other people are experiencing though, this is affection you and you have every reason to be upset

maybe book yourself a holiday OP, try to calm down a little

@DominicRaabsTravelAgent Thank you

@muffindays I did just have a short holiday but it was quite difficult because of the level of anxiety I'm suffering.

I need to somehow change the way I'm thinking about all this but I don't know how. I'm not in a good state mentally. If there was a medication that would help me I would take it. I know it's not as simple as that though.

Hi op, I can't comment on your eye condition but I suffer from anxiety and have done for a long time.
I resisted taking medication for the anxiety but about 6 months ago started taking sertraline and it has changed my life for the better so much. It has really damped down the physical anxiety symptoms and enabled me to see things clearly.
Your eye condition sounds very difficult and I wonder how much easier you'd find it to cope with if you did find medication that helped with the anxiety.
All the best x

Because of this my mental health has suffered. I'm not in a good place at all. I have an appointment with a psychologist in a couple of weeks. I also have been prescribed some anti-depressants but I haven't taken them yet

So you have been prescribed a medication to help you mental health, but you've chosen not to take it?

I need to somehow change the way I'm thinking about all this but I don't know how. I'm not in a good state mentally. If there was a medication that would help me I would take it. I know it's not as simple as that though

But you have been prescribed a medication that would help you!

Why are you against taking antidepressants?

I had a bad experience with an anti-depressant once before, so I'm not keen to take them. I know they're very hit and miss. The doctor who prescribed them agreed with this view. You say they 'would' help me - but that's not certain at all. They have different effects on different people, and are quite likely to have bad side effects, so taking them is a huge gamble.

Side effects vary, most of the common ones subside in the first few weeks as your body adjusts, and the serious ones are rare.

"Huge gamble" is your opinion not a fact.

It would be the same scenario if there were a drug available for your eye condition - it may or may not help to an uncertain degree that you'd only find out by taking it for long enough; and would have a variety of common and rare side effects, some that fade, some that have to be managed and some that are monitored.

You're right of course :)

Taking antidepressants that you have been prescribed is not a "huge gamble". Thousands of people who wouldn't be here otherwise will tell you that not taking them is a much bigger gamble.

Have you taken this type before? Were the circumstances the same!

That wasn't supposed to be an exclamation mark

Have you seen an Orthoptist (not an optician or optometrist) ? These are specialists that deal with exactly your problem. Prisms come in different strengths and sometimes need several adjustments before you get the right one ! If you haven't had a review I would urge you to have a repeat check up to see if any changes would help or a different treatment - believe it or not Botox is frequently used for eye muscle problems too !

@Islandmagic

@IslandMagic did you navigate this in the end please? I’m having similar eye problems and other neuro problems and it’s really getting me down