Over the last couple of weeks I've had these strange episode's several times. I'm wide awake and sitting up when they happen. Often when I'm working but then tonight while sat at the dining table too.
I seem to lose track/connection with the world around me and it's as though I can feel myself falling into a dream. I can tell when it's starting to happen but I couldn't describe it when isn't happening. Whatever it is I experience feels like it is the same situation, like a recurrent dream. I can't remember what the dream is about properly only glimpses. There is something about Ki-Ora squash and some.big rocks.
After it happened tonight I felt a panic attack start and got my husband to hold me while I managed to get it under control. Whilst I have had panic attacks before this many years ago this is something I haven't ever felt before.
I also don't feel like I am properly in my body sometimes lately. It's like I can see my body but I feel like where it is is "misaligned". Like my hips are about a foot of where or my head isn't actually attached to my neck. I have had a similar feeling to this in Feb/Mar 2020 when my colleague went off sick for 2 months and I was trying to manage 6 teams just as Covid was starting to emerge.
Work is incredibly stressful at the moment with staff off and a new system being rolled out badly and delays in recruitment . I
I have got a history of depression and take venlafaxine 75mg AM and PM. But I've never had this out of reality sensation even at my most depressed. I don't feel down, just under immense pressure at work. I love my job mostly and home life is pretty good. 2 kids age 7 and 3 and husband who is pretty much 50/50 on domestic stuff.