Intrusive Thoughts help

[Iilly2343]

Hi

I am scared to write all this down out of fear ppl will think I am crazy.. so I am 31 and I have had mild anxiety my whole life in particular health anxiety around the age of 22\23 I has a very bad time for about a year when I suddenly started getting very bad intrusive thoughts triggered by my Health anxiety for example ones about me harming my loved ones , my loved dying in accidents, or me harming myself and how my family would cope These thoughts horrified me and I obviously did not want to act upon them. The thoughts caused me to get depressed and this made my health anxiety worse as I felt I was developing a serious MH condition and I would sit for hours googling.. I even pushed for a MH assessment where I was told I absolutely do not have physcosis or schizophrenia as ppl who do aren’t even aware there is anything wrong with them etc and don’t seek help.

During this year I lost interest in everything I wasn’t the same person I was before and all the things I liked I no longer wanted to do. I lived with my parents at the time and I wanted to be around my mum 24/7 as if I was a child again.

I eventually had CBT which helped and all the thoughts etc suddenly stopped and I felt myself again after a very long time. The health anxiety was and always has been there but in the background and it didn’t bother me. If I got an intrusive thought I barely sat on it and let it pass and I was fine.

Now I fear what happened then is happening now, I recently have had a Rship break down the Rship wasnt good and needed to end however it was long term ( no kids) and I think this is what has triggered this. The intrusive thoughts are back and I am worrying about them again, the googling has started also and the health anxiety around serious MH conditions is back. I really don’t want to feel how I did back then it was the worst year of my life and I’m so scared it’s going to happen again.

I recently did have a few sessions of CBT on the NHS for health anxiety but as I was mainly talking about my Rship issues at the time she discharged me as she felt my anxiety was based around my Rship break down and she specialised in health anxiety.

I have more responsibilities now , mortgage, an important job still no kids but I can’t afford to be feeling how I did 10 years ago.

Does anyone have an coping techniques to stop this from spiralling ? I feel like I can’t switch my mind off atm

You'll probably remember these from your CBT;

The STOPP technique -

Keeping a thought record - positivepsychology.com/thought-diary/

And to help you relax -

HTH

Hi. I know what you’re going through. I had anxiety and depression quite bad last year. And now, although I do feel better in nyself, I am having intrusive thoughts. I spend all day thinking about them. I’m in quite a lot of medication and I’m wondering am I on too much!? We will get there though!!!

@Sarahlou63 thanks for this I will look into them

@Mammy1981 I spend all day thinking about mine as well they are mainly around harming ppl I love not that i would ever do that ! I hadn’t had any issues like this for almost 10 years and now it has been bad for the last few days. And as I have health anxiety as well I then start googling OCD and instrusive thoughts etc and due to the HA I shouldn’t do that as I will pick up on what others are saying and start to think that about myself even if I wasn’t thinking it before

I can manage the HA but I can’t manage the intrusive thoughts.

I’ve never been on meds for my MH so I wouldn’t know about being on to much etc have you tried CBT?

Yeah I’ve done cbt for anxiety as I wouldn’t leave the house in January. Now I’m back to work full time and going out all the time. But my thoughts won’t switch off. I’m like you googling everything. I have some great moments but then think I’m an awful person. I see a consultant psych who asks me what tablets I should be on and how much. I’m going to be telling her I want off of them as I feel like I have no emotions sometimes. I’m always better by this time but thoughts still there. I’ve read so many books and understand that thoughts are thoughts but wish mine would shhhhh. I’ve been poorly 10 years ago and got better without medication but the intrusive thoughts are new. I know I will overcome them but they are powerful at the mo xx hope you’re ok. Here to chat!!

Hey everyone
I also suffer with anxiety and intrusive thoughts. I'm diagnosed with OCD and have had it pretty much most of my life.
I've had 2 serious episodes over the years which left me very depressed and off work for months. Generally I cope ok for weeks at a time then usually when something is happening, even good stuff like holidays, birthdays etc the anxiety starts.
Having a bad patch atm. Started just before holiday which we've just got back from but it's my daughters 16th this weekend and feeling a bit pressured/stressed with that.
Mainly I get intrusive thoughts concerning the past. Things such as did I harm/assault that person in the supermarket/park/cafe etc. I was even worried I tried to snog a family member and got so distressed about it I even asked them.😬
Atm the thoughts are constant and I'm struggling a bit.
I could go on and on.
I know from experience it does get better but when your in the thick of it it seems never ending.

Sending hugs. Xx

Hey @Mammy1981 and @Ilovedogs1 hope you are both okay I am feeling a little bit better today. I have read a lot of books as well and realise that thoughts are not facts but it’s hard when your caught up in it and I remember when this started 10 years ago I thought I was going through psychosis or something.. I then realised it’s not and is a form of OCD.

When I’m generally quite happy i just brush off the thought and it doesn’t bother me but if I am down it anxious I hold on to it for days and I start thinking am I going crazy but I know I’m not

@Ilovedogs1 I’ve had ones where I’ve thought I’ve injured someone in a car accident ( I did have a minor accident but only with a kerb lol) I wondered for days if I’d hit someone and not known and had to ask the ppl in the car with me. Even looked on the local crime page to see if it had been reported 🙈. It sounds quite funny now looking back lol but I was distraught at the time.

Then thoughts don’t bother me as much it’s the harm ones that do. It can also come in ‘commands’ like if you are holding a animal or a something or a common one is a baby and the thought in your head goes ‘drop it’ I’ve seen a meme made about that one 🙈 so seems it is common most ppl don’t worry about the thoughts but seen as we are prone to anxiety and OCD we will fixate on them

Hey op,

I find the best thing for my intrusive thoughts to be listening to a podcast. I listen to one every night to fall asleep to and have done for a few months now. If I don't I've been known to cry myself to sleep because of how horrible the intrusive thoughts are.

Another tip I learnt is to stop fighting them - the more you fight, the more they take hold. Our thoughts are not 'us' - we don't choose them, they come and go. Please trust me when I say they are not a reflection of you as a person, and they are extremely common. I've had some horrific intrusive thoughts about my children.

Sending lots of hugs, you've done this once you can do it again x

I found YouTube meditations for anxiety helped.

'Heres a thought. Watch it just float away like a cloud. Off it goes...'

That sort of thing.

Hi thanks for your comments. I am trying to brush them off. It’s easier when I’m busy. I just need something else to think about when I’m alone. I’ve had a lovely day today and plan on a nice evening with my DS so will practice the Float thing. I am a good person and they say your thoughts are the opposite of what you really think. That makes so much sense and calms me down xx

Hey.
Had a terrible day yesterday. Rang in sick to work took a diazepam and went to bed . Still feeling incredibly anxious today but I've managed to get to work.
Lily2343 can I ask when you experienced the driving intrusive thoughts was it like you KNEW in your gut it was in your head but it FELT so real and was the doubt really bad?
Also did you get images of you hitting people?

@Ilovedogs1hope you are feeling better today. I haven’t been so bad the last few days but I do keep repeating the same thoughts over and over in my head which is what happens when it gets bad.. it’s like i am constantly having a convo in my head. Deep down I knew it wasn’t real tbh and that I hadn’t hit anyone that wasn’t one of my worst thoughts I found it easy to rationalise that one. I didn’t get any images no. It’s the thoughts that are relating to ppl i love that harm me the most, I also went through a. Period of having instrusive thoughts relating to suicide when I absolutely did not want to do that.. during this time I hated going to train stations or being left alone

Hurt me the most I mean *